Category Archives: Critical Mass

Donovan Campbell

Critical Mass, Neat Things I Didn't Author, Of Vice and Virtue
The Book of Man

I came into the parish library today after work and found a book stuck in the Reference section that didn’t quite look like it belonged there. It was called, “The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood,” by William J. Bennett. It’s a collection of writings meant to instruct today’s man in what it means to be a man, as well as providing some examples – mainly positive ones – to inspire our men and show them how to live out an authentic masculinity.

I think I’ve fallen in love with the concept of the book already. There’s not much that I love and crave more than a man living as a man ought. Males and females are radically different, yet complementary, so the feminine part of me craves true masculinity.

I’m not sure if I will buy this book (probably eventually), but I’m thinking that it might be more enjoyable to savor it. To read one section in it every time I come to church and write about what I learned from it, about what attracted me as a woman, and my hopes and dreams based on it for the men in my life.

Profile: Donovan Campbell

While leading Marines during Operation Iraqi Freedom, he learned that he didn’t gain the respect of his men from great feats or amazing acts of heroism, but consistency in his actions – an internal integrity which spanned from the largest decisions to the routine actions of everyday life. He also showed how both he and his men often had to show restraint, even when that choice could result in their own death. They would make decisions that put them in greater harm, so as not to harm civilians; and they would rush to the aid of others, even if that meant making themselves a target. He also shows how men, especially when fighting together, form bonds and back each other up. Real men are supportive and reliable – you can count on them to be there and to do what is right. The end of the passage is summed up with the Marine Corps motto: Semper Fi. Always faithful. Which is an excellent quality in a man.

What To Do When You Are Having a Bad Day

Critical Mass, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Prayer/Prayer Requests
Jen cry couch

1. Think of three things that you are truly grateful for about *today*. Get specific.
2. Think of three things which frustrated you today. Be specific. What was most bothersome, worrisome or annoying?
3. Think of three intentions. Three things which really need prayer. Again, be very specific.
4. Offer each of your frustrations for one of your intentions. Pray that God somehow uses the troubles of your day to bring grace and blessings to these intentions.
5. Give thanks to God for your blessings of today and also for the opportunity to undergo struggle, so that in Him even your frustrations can be efficacious and so you will never forget that you need Him and that He is always there for you.

Amen and God bless!

Sometimes I Feel Like a Second-Class Citizen at My Own Parish

Critical Mass, Jennspeak, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts
Cranky Babies Get Tossed Away!

My sentiments come from two sources.

First, I am a little unsettled, I suppose, over something that happened yesterday at church. I was reading in the library, when a man came in. He looked a little surprised that I was there, then let me know that they were having a meeting for the Evangelization team at 7 pm. He said not to worry and to take my time, since we had over 20 minutes until the meeting was to begin. He said he was going to go to the chapel to pray and left. He was very warm and friendly.

Then. A woman came in and set her things on the table. She looked over at me and demanded, “Who are *you*? You aren’t attending this meeting are you? I didn’t think there was going to be any newcomers at this meeting.” Clearly, I was unwelcome in the library. I was a little surprised at her behavior, but didn’t really say anything. The meeting was still more than 20 minutes away. I started packing up my things and I guess she realized what she had sounded like, because she apologized for being rude, offered me some of the cookies she had brought and left the room. I didn’t really feel like having any of her cookies at that point and finished putting stuff in my bag. She and the first man came in as I was leaving and she apologized again. There was still 15 minutes until the meeting and in the meantime, another woman had wandered in to look at the library books.

I was a little hurt by her rudeness, but more amused at the irony of being made to feel unwelcome in my parish by a member of the parish’s *Evangelization* committee. What if I *hadn’t* been Catholic? What if I were considering becoming Catholic? I’m not sure that I would feel comfortable joining that community. And it might just push me away enough that I don’t continue to look for the truth that is found in the Catholic Church.

The second reason why I sometime feel like a second-class citizen is a sore spot with me. I’m sure I’m probably just sensitive to it, but it pushes my buttons:

I’m single. And apparently this isn’t okay.

Let me explain. The Catholic Church thinks this is just fine. In fact, the Church recognizes the single life as a valid vocation. God can *call* people to the single life. Singles generally have more time to do his work (over people who have obligations to raising a family) and live in the world where there is usually greater access to people for the purposes of evangelization, apologetics, and witnessing to the faith (over consecrated religious).

However, people who *attend* the church often act in a way that gives the impression that singles are not as important as consecrated men and women or married people. Worse, they treat us as if we are in some sort of “holding pattern” and that one day, if we are lucky, God might remember us and call us to the married state or the consecrated/religious life.

As if we were God’s forgotten, neglected step-children or something.

No, I don’t have a husband to love me, support me, or help out when I am tired, stressed, or just can’t handle projects on my own. No, I don’t have cute children.

This doesn’t mean that I’m not a valuable member of society. And it certainly doesn’t mean that I couldn’t have anything to contribute to a discussion on kids and family life. I can’t tell you how many times friends, even good friends, have left me out of wedding planning or pregnancy talks or advice about kids because I am single. They just don’t think of me.

Even in the parish, there is a lack of attention paid to the needs of singles. Don’t get me wrong. I really, truly understand that the value of a stable, faith-based family life is under attack. And I know how important solid marriages are for society in general. I know that it’s important to nurture and protect these marriages and families. And I pray for them.

But have you noticed that if there is any events directed towards singles in the parish, they are usually “social gatherings” which seem to be mostly directed towards “meeting people” and dating? What? So that us poor single people can *finally* meet someone and then be able to get on with our lives as married folk?

A couple years ago, the parish put out a special bulletin, highlighting the various vocations. It had articles written by a nun, a deacon, a married couple and a priest. There was nothing, zero, by a single person. I complained about this, and … was invited to write an article which they would run in the next bulletin to remedy the oversight. 🙂 Which I did.

I am a happy person. I usually don’t dwell upon things like this. I suppose feeling this way helps me to learn humility. It’s NOT all about me. It’s about others. I should be willing to pour out my life for those around me. But sometimes I pout, and jump up and down and yell, “I’M LOVED BY GOD, TOO!”

Good thing for me that Confession is tomorrow. I certainly need it! 🙂

Oh No He Didn’t!

Critical Mass, Humor of the Day, Tales of My Amazing Priests
Fr. JJ

I was innocently sitting in the back pew after Mass on Sunday, when Fr. JJ came in, headed straight for me, thwapped me upside the head with his Day Planner, and then ran away saying, “God told me to do it!”

I tried to swat him back with my bulletin, but it didn’t do very much.

Priests! I tells ya! 🙂

We Have an Amazing, Personally Involved, God

Critical Mass, Prayer/Prayer Requests, Tales of My Amazing Priests
DSCN9793

It’s amazing how God works in people’s lives sometimes…. This is what happened to me after work yesterday. I had a bit of time since I didn’t have to be in Troy until 7 pm for the Fisherman’s Net Charismatic Prayer Group meeting. I knew that my house was going to be sweltering, as I turn off the 2 little window A/C units that I have before going to work, and didn’t want to hang out there. So, I went to one of my favorite after-work hangouts: OLGC! 🙂

I had the double intention of taking some pictures of the baptismal font, as an upcoming theme for my Project 52 group is Water. I spent the first little while sitting on the floor by the font playing with the holy water. Marinating in holy water HAS to be good for you, right? 🙂 And the floor was nice and cool — I loved it.

Next, I took a “video tour” of the upper floor of the church. I’ll see if I can get the video uploaded somewhere soon (sometimes I have an issue with file size, but don’t do enough video work to warrant getting a professional account somewhere). Of course, this started out with taking pictures of everything, as that is what I do. 🙂 And, yes, I took over 100 pictures…. LOL!

I still had about half an hour until I wanted to leave, so I pulled a book out of my backpack and sat back down by the font to read. A little while later a woman walking down the hall asked, “Is there anywhere in this church where you can light a candle?” Since I had seen it on my video tour, I replied, “Yeah, it’s down the hall by the Mary icon,” pointing. I kind of watched while she walked down the hall, and it looked like she was getting lost in the seating area. I called after her, “It’s all the way at the end of the hall!” Then, I got up, hopped over the river of holy water and went over to her.

As I started to walk her down to the mosaic of Mary and Jesus, I noticed that she seemed a little upset. I asked her if there was anything wrong, if there was anything that I could pray for, for her. She started crying and told me that she had lost her house. Not only that, but she was a nurse, currently out of work, and had been staying with a friend until recently. Her friend had told her sister that it wasn’t working out, so she not only felt abandoned — because she was no longer welcome there and had no place to go — but she felt additionally hurt that her friend couldn’t tell this to her directly, but spoke to her sister. She was getting a little disillusioned, starting to question where God was in all this and becoming weary of her burden.

I gave her a hug and asked her if she wanted me to pray with her right there, in front of Mary. She said yes, so I lit a candle for her, and we both knelt down. She asked if I would pray, so I prayed aloud for all of her needs. She wept. She said how happy she was that I was there, that she had asked me a question, and that God had brought the two of us together.

After we prayed, we started to walk back down the hallway. She let me know that she was there to meet with some people from the Knights of Columbus and that they had been putting her up in a local hotel. She said that she had spoken to Fr. John and that he had put her in contact with the Knights. She said that he seemed like a nice man, and that she hadn’t known that he was in charge of the radio station. We talked a little about the radio station and she asked when his show came on. I said I could look it up for her and we walked over to where my phone was.

On the way, she noted that she had given Fr. John 3 Miraculous medals. I stopped and kind of looked at her for a second.

A couple weeks ago, I was feeling particularly bad and had been spending lots of time after work at the church. On one of the days, I ran into Fr. John while I was there. He asked if I had a Miraculous medal. I did not. He said that a woman gave 3 to him and he had been praying about who to give them to.

“He gave one of them to me.” She looked at me, “You’re kidding!” She asked me a little of how I knew him. I didn’t share a lot, but did agree with her that it was good to pray for him, as he tends to keep himself pretty busy. 🙂 I sat down to write down the times that his radio program, “Christ is the Answer,” aired, and she went to get her soda and said she would sit down apart from me, so as not to “bother me” any longer. She didn’t realize that I was writing down the show times for her.

It was about time for me to leave, so I took the paper over to her, where I had written the show times (as well as a personal note for her). She said, “When I see Fr. John next, I’ll have to ask him how he got so lucky to have you in his life!” I grinned and laughed, “You’ll have to ask him EXACTLY LIKE THAT!” Hahaha! 🙂

God is amazing the way He brings people together, isn’t He? 🙂

Please join me in praying for her.

The Supreme Purpose

Between Sundays, Critical Mass
DSCN3039

This week’s theme is on purpose. Today, they are talking about being called to do something. Perhaps something out of our comfort zone, or that we don’t particularly wish to do. They distinguish between calls. If the call causes us to run away from God, then it surely wasn’t an authentic call *from* God. He would never call us to something which causes us to pull away from Him, since our supreme calling is to be His son or daughter. God’s call is always one which draws us in further to the Divine Life. It’s a good reminder for the discernment we should make about all of our activities.

Is this drawing me closer to the Lord? Is it pulling me away from Him? Am I growing in love? Or is my heart slowly being hardened?

Protect your heart. It’s one of the most human things about you. And one of the most precious. But you can’t protect it by putting it in a glass case on display. A heart can only survive if it is used and shared. It’s a muscle, and like any other muscle in the body, if it is not used, then it will atrophy. In fact, if a muscle is not used – is not stretched and broken – it cannot grow. It is in the healing process that a muscle becomes stronger and more useful to us. So we cannot fear using our hearts. We cannot fear heartbreak. Because heartbreak will definitely come. But if we allow forgiveness and God’s grace to heal our hearts, they will be stronger for it, and have a greater capacity for love than prior to our trials.

A good athlete strengthens all of his muscles. Particularly those he uses most in the exercise of his unique gifts, but he doesn’t forget that all of the muscles in the body need attention. So too is it with our hearts. If we want to be the most loving selves we can be, we should be willing to seek out love in different ways. Certainly, God will put certain things upon our heart and our unique gifts and abilities will draw us to certain ways of expressing love. But it never hurts to try out different expressions of love. You may surprise yourself with the new capacities of your heart.

I suppose my main point is that you should never fear to risk your heart. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Because our Father loves His children. How can we possibly doubt the depth and capacity of His love for us? Certainly no one’s heart has been broken and stretched than His by the constant denials, sins and rejections of His children than God Himself. Nothing can be a bigger heartbreak than to have One’s pure and completely good heart allow for the existence of sin in the world. But He did. And with every sin we commit, with every heartbreak we inflict, He shows us his endless capacity for forgiveness and love.

The Trinity, in whose Divine Life we hope one day to share, is a radical, reckless gift of self in love.

Love deeply.

Praying the Psalms

Critical Mass

I don’t know what it is, but I can never seem to comment at Conversion Diary! Maybe Jen put me in her “Always Delete” category, or her spam filter hates me. How can this be? 🙂 So, I’ll post my response here at my own site. Jen was talking about her experience with praying the psalms and asking for advice on how to approach them.

Psalms are supposed to represent the gamut of human emotion. So, if God let them be put into the Bible, it must be okay to feel this way upon occasion; and, this is the instruction manual for how to pray when we are experiencing these emotions.

I am continually amazed by how similar our life stories are, so I’ll give a few things that (sometimes) help me. 🙂

First, I try to empathize with the narrator. I try to identify what emotion he’s experiencing and place myself in that situation.

Second, I have to do some translating. God dealt with His people differently in OT times than in NT times, where Jesus is trying to soften our hearts. So whereas before the rule for enemies was “an eye for an eye” to try and prevent overabundant retribution, now we are to “love our enemies.” We have to keep that in mind when we read them.

For your psalm, then, I would picture myself as being (unfairly) mocked and scorned by my enemies and be comforted in the fact that while they are troubling me now, in time, God will make things right for me and the truth about me will emerge. Instead of me trying to smite them, I just have to trust that God has my back and the He will take care of the situation. I just have to be faithful and keep doing what is right in His eyes. And not worry about them.

Pressing On

Between Sundays, Critical Mass, Neat Things I Didn't Author, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Of Vice and Virtue

Since today was payday, and since I had to stop by Domino’s Farms to get some money from the bank for our workday field trip to Blimpy Burger, I got the urge to stop by the Our Lady of Grace bookstore. I didn’t want to keep my siblings waiting, so I made a second trip after work, so that I could browse the store.

The store is like a crackhouse for me; meaning that every time I stop in, I am compelled to buy something. 🙂 Today, after careful inspection of wares, I picked up a book called “Between Sundays,” by Shawn Craig. The premise of the book is in the question: How do you maintain your faith Monday through Saturday? It is organized by week of the year (Week 1, etc.) and has entries for each day of the week. Each day has a particular theme, Scripture verse, reflection on the subject and ends with a prayer. On Saturdays, there are Weekend Reflections to read and then a set of questions to reflect upon (and they give you space in the book to write out your answers to the questions). There are no entries for Sundays. (Presumably, you wouldn’t have a problem with knowing how to express your faith on a Sunday. 🙂 Plus, the title of the book is *Between* Sundays….)

No time like the present to start the book, right? 🙂 I had to Google what week of the year we are in (since this is not information that typically concerns me). In case you were curious, we are in week 22.

Today’s theme is: Press On. As I read the reflection, I found that there was more than one way to look at the theme (although, I am not sure that the author intended there to be multiple).

The first image was that of a runner in a race, only having his eyes on the finish line and looking back on their competitors. What struck me most about this image wasn’t the keeping-your-eye-on-the-prize aspect, but more the concern with one’s competitors. Why *do* we get so concerned with how well (or how poorly) others are doing relative to our own performance? I get it about healthy competition and motivation and such, but I think there is a lot of danger when we are constantly concerned with the competition.

Danger #1: We tend to wish for the ill of the other person. To our concupiscent hearts, it is not enough to want to win, we want the other guy to lose.

Danger #2: We can get depressed or despair of our own worth. By constantly looking at the field, we are inclined to underestimate our potential. We can psyche ourselves out, in a way, even to the point of *actually* performing worse.

Danger #3: We can become envious of the gifts that God has given other people and not be as appreciative (or aware) of the gifts that He has given to *us*.

Danger #4: If we aren’t looking where we are going, we can easily stray off course. We cannot judge what is the right path for us by looking at where the competition is going. This goes for our journey in faith as well. Just because your friend does X, Y and Z, doesn’t mean that you need to do the exact same thing in order to be a holy disciple. One person may have a deep devotion to the Rosary and may pray it faithfully every day. You may struggle to say even a decade once a month, if you remember. This is okay. Don’t stress about it. Your path is different than their path. Just listen to the Holy Spirit. I’m sure He will let you know if you should be doing something – and then give you the grace to be able to do just that.

The next image presented was that of Lot’s wife. Especially when we are talking about spiritual conversion, this can always be a temptation: to look back wistfully at the way we used to be. I know for me this is a particular weakness. I grew up as secular as you can get. I was so immersed in secular culture, I even got a degree in it! (No kidding, I have a Bachelor’s in American Culture!) In general, I accepted everything that the world taught without really examining their claims, especially on topics such as relationships, sexuality and morality.

Once I entered the Church, I learned that the way the world views these issues isn’t really healthy for us. (And that’s why God and the Church have rather conflicting views of these things – God wants, above all, for what is truly good for us. If it’s not healthy, then we shouldn’t be involved in it; God doesn’t want us to get hurt.)

But.

Even though I *know* that these things are wrong or unhealthy, sometimes they are still attractive.

Especially flirting. I love flirting. And I used to be good at it. 🙂 But is it really harmless and cute? Or is it sometimes treating the other person as an object for my amusement? Can it be abusing our sexuality? Manipulation? If I flirt, am I really concerned with the other person’s emotions, or am I just trying to elicit the proper response from them so that *I* feel better? Where and how do we draw the line?

Once we grow in holiness, we cannot look longingly back on our sinful lives that we have left behind. There is nothing left for us there. We must, as the theme goes, press on towards God and a new life of grace.

Another image was of the Holy Spirit leading us onward. They emphasized complete trust in Him to be able to guide our lives. Yet another stumbling block we have all too often: inordinate self-reliance. We try so hard to convince ourselves that we don’t need God. That we can handle things on our own. Too frequently, we only turn to Him when we have made a complete mess of things. The challenge is to rely on Him for all things – not so that we don’t have to take responsibility for things in our life – but so that there is no part of our lives into which He is not welcome.

The last image for me was that of being on the path, looking expectantly and joyfully toward our goal. What is the purpose of all this self-mastery and obedience? To be with God forever, sharing in His Divine Life! What could be better than that?