Category Archives: Critical Mass

“Pro-Child, Pro-Choice”

June 3, 2008Critical Mass, Prayer/Prayer Requests, Right to Life IssuesCadyLy

This was a bumper sticker that I saw in the parking lot of work this morning. It made me stop and think. Okay, you are “pro-child”, and that is a good thing, because all life is precious, and all people are made in the image and likeness of God.

But, which children? Obviously, it can’t be all children, because if you are “pro-choice,” then you are in favor of the destruction of certain children, at least conditionally. So, certainly you are not “pro-” that child.

Then, which children are you in support of? Those whom you have deemed acceptable due to an arbitrary standard? Those whom are convenient and fit into your plans for your life? What of the others? Are they unnecessary, inconvenient and defective and thus able to be discarded carelessly?

Apparently, this is a true statement, at least according to the culture of death in which we find ourselves. It doesn’t only apply to the unborn — it is also true for those who are not “productive members of society” or those who are too old or too sick or too whatever-it-may-be. For those who do not fit society’s arbitrary measuring stick of personal value.

And what if God took this view? Could I be seen as unnecessary, inconvenient and defective in His eyes? Certainly, God doesn’t, strictly speaking, need anything. So, I suppose that it could be said that I am unnecessary. Inconvenient and defective? Well, I think those go hand and hand to a degree. I am certainly a stubborn, sinful little sheep. I would imagine that it would be more convenient to only accept into heaven those people who were not sinful. Probably a little inconvenient to have to purify people in Purgatory. And defective? Well, if my heart and will are not conformed to Christ’s, then, yeah, I’m still defective. And we all have concupiscence, so I would imagine that that applies to each of us.

Praise God that He is not “pro-choice” in this manner. Thanks be to God that He is “pro-life,” and not just in a general sense, but pro- my life and pro- your life, specifically. In a radical and passionate way, is He pro- our lives. He gave His only son — for us! We hear that and we say that a lot — but do we really get it? I don’t think so. I think at most, on our good days, we might get a sliver of what this means, but we probably do not really get it on a day-to-day basis. For if we did, how could we possibly make the bad decisions that we do?

“Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” I think a lot of us are here. We are like blind little sheep with hardened hearts. Some of us are content to stay this way, or think that we know better and are rooted in place, spiritually, by our own pride. Some of us are struggling to overcome our sheepness, and grow in virtue, and we will continually fall, but I think the point here is that we forgive each other our transgressions and work with one another to pick each other back up, point our brother in the correct direction towards God, and continue in the journey until — please, God — we have all made it safely home.

I pray today, Lord, that You will give me the grace to master my will against my tendency to sin.

Notes from “Crossing the Threshold of Love”

June 2, 2008Critical Mass, Neat Things I Didn't Author, Theology of the BodyCadyLy

I’m currently reading “Crossing the Threshold of Love: A New Vision of Marriage in the Light of John Paul II’s Anthropology” by Mary Shivanandan. Since it’s a library book, I’ll post my notes here. 🙂 Whatever catches my eye…. 🙂

“…the ‘culture of contraception’ alienates man from woman. Each begins to treat the other as an object, leading to a breakdown of the communion of persons of the husband and wife and the rejection of the child.” (xxii)

“Truth, he [Karol Wojtyla] asserts, ‘can only be enhanced from a confrontation with experience’ (LR, 10).” (4) If it is true, then it is always true, and if it is actually true, than that truth cannot change. It will be true for all times, and not just true for a past generation, but no longer applicable in modern times. You cannot at the same time hold that the Church promotes truth, and that the Church is hopelessly “stuck in the past” when it comes to matters of contraception, sexuality and relationships between the genders. The Church’s teachings are either true or they are not. And one either accepts that or s/he does not.

“‘Perfectionism’ — the philosophical concept that a man’s actions form his character….” (7) “In this whole process of accepting and rejecting the people and objects he meets, Adam is revealed to himself constantly and ‘reveals in himself the love that works through him’.” (7) A great parallel of the concept of the grace that works through us, as everything begins as God’s initiative; and the participation we need to show in response to that gift of grace.

Is God Using Rap Artists to Give Me a Message?

May 29, 2008Critical Mass, Pop Culture, Theology of the BodyCadyLy

Okay, now that’s just unfair! 🙂 God knows that I like listening to pop music, including some things which are not very healthy for me to be listening to. But now, He has gone and inserted His message into them. What do they say? “God will find you where you are”? Apparently. But, there’s got to be something really wrong with me if Akon is teaching me a lesson. Seriously.

But, I am (oddly enough) an American culture major, so I like to examine these things. I’ll give you the lyrics — I don’t think there’s anything really profane in there — and then try to dissect out of that what I think God is trying to tell me.

What You Got
by Colby O’Donis (featuring Akon)

Konvict, Konvict

Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh

(Verse 1:) Colby O’Donis
I peeped you on the phone
Just showin’ off ya stones
And notice that that pinky ring is right enough baby

I know you’re not alone
But I could just be wrong
The way them fellas houndin’ and sizin’ you up baby

(Hook:)
And I like the way you take advantage of every man you love
I see, I seem to know your game girl
But I don’t mind if ya come and play ya thug just don’t talk too much
I see, I see it so you don’t have to say a word
Yeah those guys wanna come treat ya right
Cause you’re sweeter than apple pie
Everything that you want you got
Girl you know that you need to stop
Most beautiful thing in sight
Always takin’ on the spotlight
Always in the club lookin hot
Girl you know that you need to stop

(Chorus:)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Girl you know that you need to stop
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Girl you know that you need to stop

(Verse 2:) Colby O’Donis
Girl I can tell you want something to love
That’s why you hold on to everything that pass you by
Can’t resist girl one can’t lie
Now tell if you are here for me
Or everybody watchin’ you shake from left to right
The way you move got me hypnotized

(Hook:)
The way you take advantage of every man you love
I see, I seem to know your game girl
But I don’t mind if ya come and play ya thug just don’t talk too much
I see, I see it so you don’t have to say a word
Yeah those guys wanna come treat ya right
Cause you’re sweeter than apple pie
Everything that you want you got
Girl you know that you need to stop
Most beautiful thing in sight
Always takin’ on the spotlight
Always in the club lookin hot
Girl you know that you need to stop

(Chorus:)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Eh)
Girl you know that you need to stop
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Oooh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Oooh)
Always talkin’ bout what you got (Oooh)
Girl you know that you need to stop

(Verse 3:) Akon
Our eyes away from you girl when you get on the floor and do what you do
And errbody wanna come back to that bod and kind of remind myself I’m like you
Be sure that type drive a man crazy and snatch him away from his lady
No matter how hard the man hold back he’ll end up callin’ you baby
And they never really know what to do once you expose that thang you do
Ya had him crawlin’ on hands and knees and ya find a way to get him out that cheese
And why ya thinkin’ that you the only dude she off in the mall livin’ off of you
Lettin’ errbody know she got you but now you feel like a fool

(Hook:)
Yeah those guys wanna come treat ya right
Cause you’re sweeter than apple pie
Everything that you want you got
Girl you know that you need to stop
Most beautiful thing in sight
Always takin’ on the spotlight
Always in the club lookin hot
Girl you know that you need to stop

Okay, so first, it is talking about this girl who seems very sweet, but who uses men to get what she wants. While I don’t think that I am quite as bad, perhaps, as is portrayed in this song, I can certainly see, especially when looking at my past history, how I have been irresponsible in this regard, and even a little manipulative. I had quickly found growing up that you can just look at a boy in a certain way, and smile at him, or even tease him and challenge him, and typically you will get whatever it is that you are after. Sort of like an art form, you have to do it to the extent that it produces results, but you have to be very careful not to go too far, or to do this too much, or the boy in question (along with others around you) will catch on to the fact that this is about use. And you wouldn’t want to be labeled as one who uses others.

While I do try to (and have in the past, even when I did more frequently act in this manner) respect people and not use them for my own ends, this kind of behavior, when positively reinforced with getting what you want (reward) is very addictive. You tend to fall into this pattern of relating with other people, which is extremely unhealthy. This is a sick culture, and I’ll be the first to admit that most of my failings as regards loving others comes from a very deformed view of myself, who I am, what relationships are supposed to be like, and what it means to really love.

Basically, I need to be whapped upside the head with the Theology of the Body on a daily basis. But, I’m working on it.

Lesson 1: Stop flirting to get what you want. Be authentic and direct and do not see another person as an object or as a means to your own ends. People are not tools. People have unique dignity and should never be seen as useful.

“Always talkin’ ’bout what you got.” Everyone who knows me knows that I like to talk a lot. I am an oversharer. 🙂 What’s my basic problem here? I am looking for love and approval. And if you are going to reject me, I’d rather that you have all the information about me up front, so that you can reject me sooner rather than later — before I get a chance to be really attached, because that would hurt more. Several fundamental problems here.

First, I should be concerned primarily with what God thinks, and not so much with what others think, although I have to love my neighbors.

Second, I need to trust and know that God loves me regardless, and that I am his precious daughter. Too often, I think that I have no value, am worthless, or that I haven’t done enough to make people love me. That’s not how relationships are supposed to work.

Third, I think in here is a caution to not be so self-absorbed. I should pay attention to me, to the extent that I can evaluate how well I am responding to what Christ did to me on the cross; however, I should be more concerned day to day with trying to die to self and live to pour myself out to others. For it is in a gift of self to others that I am truly alive and happy. It is what I am made for. And if I am not making of myself a gift to others, what am I doing? Swimming in the sea of the culture of death, most likely. Time to stop playing in the sea and head for home. If you never get out of the water, you will eventually drown. And I’d rather have eternal life, thank you.

Lesson 2: Live the way God has made you to live.

“Always in the club looking hot. Girl, you know that you need to stop.” Ah, perhaps a shorter one, but basically goes back to the Theology of the Body and a proper idea of one’s worth, versus what the culture will tell you is the measure of your worth.

Lesson 3: I have to learn that my value does not come from how good (or bad) I look. Physical attractiveness will both come and go, but it is your interior person that matters to God. How does my heart look? Do I resemble His Son? That’s the question to ask. Not, “does my butt look fat in these jeans?”

“The most beautiful thing in sight.” Another shorter thing here, but in this way of mistreating people for their usefulness, I think, is another danger in that you can easily come to think that you are better than others, because you can get your way. Ooh, what a dangerous thing to play with — pride.

Lesson 4: Be humble and authentic. Live with integrity in all that you do.

It’s very interesting the way I have been seeing God everwhere lately. I can only hope and pray that I will be able to live my life in a manner pleasing to Him. And I should have known by the opening words of the song, what it would have in store for me.

“Konvict. Konvict.”

And God has certainly convicted me through it. Let’s see how well I respond….

Speeding and the Mosaic Law

May 29, 2008Bible Study, Critical Mass, Of Vice and VirtueCadyLy

Yesterday, I got a chance again to attend Fr. John’s Bible study. We are currently going over Galatians. Particularly yesterday, we were talking about being justified through faith versus being justified by following the Mosaic law.

With a law, there is the concept that if you break the law, you will incur a penalty. The example given was that the speed limit is 70 on M14, and if you happen to go 90 and get caught, there is a stiff penalty. (Of course, he says that he doesn’t know this from personal experience….)

Hmmm…. Now, I do happen to speed along M14…daily…. Keeping that in mind, let’s continue with our studies, shall we?

He goes on to say (not verbatim, but in essence) that a law makes you aware that you need help. That there’s nothing wrong with the law in itself, but something wrong with my capacity to keep it. And also that a bad place to be is to live under the illusion that I’m fine.

Oh great. So, nothing wrong with a speed limit, but there is something fundamentally wrong with the fact that I habitually do not observe it. And that I think that my action in this regard is okay, is a deeper sickness within me.

Ouch.

How My Car Teaches Me About God, Parenting and Myself

May 23, 2008Critical Mass, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Of Vice and Virtue, Prayer/Prayer RequestsCadyLy

I went to Mass this morning in a pretty good mood, about half-way into my trip, I put on a Podcast talking about what happens during Mass. I am actually not sick today — feeling pretty good physically; so that helped my happy mood, too. I was running a little late and walked into church just a few seconds before Mass began. Literally, I walked in the chapel just ahead of Fr. John and probably caused him to have to wait for me at the baptismal font.

I usually have a very difficult time with distractions during Mass. Not that I don’t want to be fully engaged, but Fr. JJ thinks that I may have a little bit of ADHD, and I keep having to bring myself back to what is occurring in front of me. My mind wanders so very easily. But today, I managed to stay mostly focused (by the grace of God, certainly). As Mass continued, I became increasingly joyful, almost to the point of grinning. (I try not to do that, though — wouldn’t want Father to think I was laughing at him or something.) I became so joyful, that I was worried about after Mass for a moment, because I intended to ask Fr. John about the outcome of the vote in the Michigan senate (?) about partial-birth abortions, and it just wouldn’t do to be smiling when one asks about that sort of thing.

After Mass, I caught him and he asked how I was doing (“Very, very good! You?”) and then he paused when I asked about the partial-birth abortions and said that he hadn’t heard anything other than they were supposed to vote on Wednesday, but didn’t, then they were supposed to vote yesterday, but didn’t — and to keep praying. He started inching towards the door (and his car) again, while I remained behind to talk to a friend whose wife is due in just a few weeks with their second child.

As I left and approached my car, I saw something concerning. I stopped and looked at the passenger side and there was one — no, two — vertical dents in the door. Obviously, someone had hit my car with their door. My car is not quite 5 months old, and it’s the first new car I’ve ever had. I stood there for a second, feeling the dents, waiting to feel anger — for surely that has always been my response to things like this — a visceral, self-righteous hatred of the negligent offender. To my surprise, that anger…never came. I was still happy and joyful, and I didn’t understand why.

So, I pondered this.

First, I thought about how even though it was important to me, it was just a thing. And things will come and go.

Second, I don’t have control over anything other than my own actions. I can try to protect my car, but there is going to be a time (quite frequently) where I am not around and it is going to be on its own, for better or for worse. I have to learn to let go and not try to cling or control all situations. Worry and anger aren’t going to change anything, and they aren’t going to prevent anything — so, why be anxious?

Third, as I looked at my car, I felt sorry, and I think I actually said something to it like, “I’m sorry this happened to you, but I still love you just the same.” Now, I’m not really in love with my car. Certainly, I like it and I enjoy it, but I’m not obsessed with it or anything like that. So I thought about what I said and realized that in a way, this might be how God feels about us. He may be sorry that bad things happen to us, and sorrowful when we sin, knowing that we are hurting ourselves, but He loves us anyway — despite our dents. And in the end, when we go home, we may look at one another and see all of the dents that we have and praise God all the more for His mercy and His grace and His aid to help us through all the rough patches during our pilgrimage here.

Fourth, I wondered at the power of the Eucharist, for certainly this grace that was given to me to look beyond myself and my interests had to have come from Him. It *had* to be due to the presence of God dwelling within me. What an amazing thing that is! I hope that I am always open to having Him work through me, and to be able to reflect His love onto others. To not only work towards, but to desire to conform myself to Christ.

Finally, I prayed for the person who dented my car. Perhaps they were having a really bad day and they need prayer to help with whatever situation they were/are in. Perhaps it was an accident and they felt horrible about it, and they need to know that it’s okay, that they can slip up and still be loved by God and by their neighbors. Perhaps they were just negligent and uncaring, in which case I pray that God will open their hearts to a sense of communion with others and work on their heart to make them desire to fully be a part of the Body of Christ.

Then, I looked at myself, and wondered if maybe this wasn’t just a small beginning into understanding what it means to lead a Christian life, and to want the good for others and to die to self. For certain, it is only a very, very small step, but just maybe I’ll be able to take something away from this experience and be able to apply it in the future in a positive way.

Have a joyous, blessed day! 🙂

Roasted Shallots

May 22, 2008Critical Mass, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Photography, Tales of My Amazing PriestsCadyLy

Originally uploaded by CadyLy
I’ve never made shallots before, and I’m about to use them in 2 recipes for dinner on Saturday. I thought I would try roasting one first, just to see what it tasted like. Mostly, like onions.

This is also going to be my first time having one of my priests over for dinner. We will be a party of five. I hope I learn how to cook between now and then! 🙂

Translation, please!

May 15, 2008Critical Mass, Humor of the Day, Prayer/Prayer Requests, Question of the DayCadyLy

Okay, I had to go to the store before going home today. Since the grocery store which I have been shopping at lately is right by my church, I thought it would be a great idea to stop by the chapel for a little while and “waste some time with the Lord.”

After praying for a bit, I decided to grab a Bible sitting in the pew. One of the ways He speaks to us is through scripture, right? So, I pick it up and open it, not knowing really what I expect to read, and then the thought comes into my head, “Hey, why not something from Sirach today?” I agree with that, and flip to Sirach. Then, this leaps off the page at me:

Sirach 30:14-17
[14] Better off is a poor man who is well and strong in constitution
than a rich man who is severely afflicted in body.
[15] Health and soundness are better than all gold,
and a robust body than countless riches.
[16] There is no wealth better than health of body,
and there is no gladness above joy of heart.
[17] Death is better than a miserable life,
and eternal rest than chronic sickness.

Now, just what is He trying to tell me?!?!?!?!

And that’s not all! After this, I head for the grocery store, still internally squawking, and start my browsing for dinner-type items. Then, I notice what’s playing on the radio/grocery sound system….

A song I’ve never heard before, which is mostly repeating the same line over and over….

“Baby, just let yourself go.”

And every once in a while, to mix it up is a, “I’ll be coming for you.”

Perhaps I’m just a little paranoid over my medical tests…. 🙂 But seriously, He couldn’t have given me a “Do not be afraid for I am with you” or even “It’s a beautiful day” ??

Humor of the Day

May 8, 2008Bible Study, Critical Mass, Humor of the DayCadyLy

1. In our catechism class last night, we were talking about some of the new teachings of Jesus, compared to the Jewish Law. Which, of course, prompted thoughts like this to circulate within my head, “If you even look at a Big Mac with lust, you have already added calories to your butt.” Curse you, large, splashy billboards!

2. Excerpt from yesterday’s dental appointment:
Hygienist: “Do you really go to Mass every day?”
Me: “No. I just made that up because I thought it would make for a good story.”
“What?!? Seriously??”
“No.”
*Her eyes get big, stares at me*
I continue, “No. Really. I go every day.”
Her: ” ‘I just made that up because I thought it would make for a good story.’ Whoo! Personality like yours, you aren’t going to stay single for long!”
“And just today, I got my annulment in the mail….”

3. Christine comes over to ask me for help with the label printer, since I have (basically) a NukeE, EE, and Master Lab Tech qual. How does she know the printer is working? Somehow…. there are labels printing out that say “Jenn is Wicked Ninja! :)” Don’t know how that happened…. 🙂

Nineveh

April 28, 2008Critical Mass, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Prayer/Prayer RequestsCadyLy

John 15:16
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

This seems like an apt reflection for the day. For a while now, I have been pondering a situation which I have found myself in. Let’s start by using a Jonah analogy (because I love Jonah), and go from there.

God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh. Jonah’s not particularly excited to go to Nineveh. Jonah decides to go for a boat ride, because boat rides are fun and then he doesn’t have to think about Nineveh. He falls asleep, and wakes up with the boat on shore. God tells him, “You’re in Nineveh.” Jonah pouts, “What?!? Are you serious? I didn’t want to go to Nineveh.” God says, “Tough. Here you are.”

As you may have guessed, I’m Jonah in this story. As necessary background, I suppose I should say that I have odd views on family, and I tend to “adopt” people into my “family.” My “chosen family,” as I call them. And I love them as I love the members of my family: completely, unconditionally, permanently. I also have other categories: such as my close friends, my long-term friends, and friends whom I consider to have been given to me by God. I tend to feel, for the most part, that I have some active choice in who I designate as my “family.”

Except for this one case.

[Ignore the wrong pronouns, I’m trying to be non-gender-specific…. 🙂 ] I met this person a while ago, and I thought they were fine, pleasant, interesting, intelligent — any manner of things. But also a little scary, in the way that they seemed to “get me” so quickly and accurately. There were other factors that went into it, but suffice it to say that I decided that I would keep this person at arms length from me. Oh, I would definitely interact with them, but I wasn’t about to make it personal.

Critical Steinbeck Error — you know, “best laid plans of mice and men….” ? Or that other quote, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

So, this arms length thing being my decision, God says, “Oh, really? Nope. Actually, I’m going to make you care for this person.” [Okay, God didn’t really speak to me in words as such, so this is my translation of what I got. I’m sure God can speak much more eloquently than this, but He’s speaking to my level here….]

“What? No, no, no. I want an impersonal, working relationship. Nothing complicated or messy or, well, involved.” So, I go about trying to minimize contact with this person, to create a bubble between me and them. My little ostrich head was firmly planted in the sand, and my fingers were in my ears, “La la la, I can’t hear you!”

A little while later, Gods tell me, “You know what? Not only are you going to care for them, but you are going to love them. They will be your family.”

“But I don’t want that!!!” I didn’t actually go so far as to tell God “No,” but I made my preference clear. “I don’t want to love this person!”

Then, God laughs. “Tough. Look in your heart. You already do.”

Oh no. I did.

After that, it’s like a phrase that a friend of mine likes to say: “You will do it. You will like it. And you will like liking it.” But first, being me, I had to spend at least a little time grumbling about the fact that I didn’t particularly choose to make this person part of my family. But, what do you do? When you love, you love. And God didn’t give me one of these fleeting affections. It’s like all of me is deeply involved in the well-being of this Other. And of course, being me, I was concerned about this. What if it wasn’t something of God, and was instead some personal psychiatric disorder? What if for some reason, I had developed some unnatural fixation or obsession with this person, and was trying to justify it to myself? Maybe I just wanted love or approval in return and thought that this person would reciprocate? Any sort of questioning you can think of — I put myself through it. Basically, I didn’t trust myself not to be messed up in some way. I’m not the best at relationships. Haha, or trusting!

So, now I have this person. And they are my family. And I pray for them every day. And I worry over them. I’m okay if they are okay. I don’t have to be a major player in this person’s life, even though they are a major player in mine. It’s not necessary or even expected that they would care for me. And I’m okay with that too.

Sometimes, I wondered about all this, but mostly I just accepted it and went about my business praying for and worrying about and rejoicing in the fact that God made this unique individual, and that He wrote this person onto my heart.

Recently, however, I came across this Vatican document or other. And it was kind of talking about this: that sometimes God may give a person to another person, for them to carry spiritually. To love and nurture and pray for and suffer for. Sometimes, a person is given an Other to carry, and s/he may have never met the person before. Or may not ever meet them (until heaven).

Maybe this is what has been going on with me and my person.

Which brings me back to John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

I didn’t choose God. God choose me. I have no idea why, but God called me from my secular, atheist life and gave me a new heart and faith and a deep hunger to know Him. And now He’s given me this Other. So, now I have to go bear fruit. I had not ever consciously decided to pray for this person every day. It just happened on its own. I wanted to. It is a joy. And maybe that is a purpose for me. A task. A calling. A something.

And so while I didn’t want to go to Nineveh, I ended up in Nineveh anyway. And you know what? Nineveh’s a pretty awesome place. And I will continue to muddle my way along, trying to discern God’s will.

Thanking Him for this gift.

Teaser Photo

April 22, 2008Critical Mass, Easter, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Photography, SacramentsCadyLy

Here’s just one of the many, many pictures that I took over the weekend. I do not have a great zoom, and was sitting quite high in the stands, so the picture is a little fuzzy (digital zoom will do that).

It was amazing! It was great! I need a thesaurus for my superlative adjectives!

One day, when I am no longer tired, I may write more on this. For now, I have a mountain of things to get done in the office!
Pope Benedict XVI