Okay, last year before Lent:

Fr. John’s talking to our RCIA class.  He is giving us examples of things that we could give up (or take on) for Lent.  I hear something like, “Some of you might give up their daily Starbucks or Caribou or whatever it is -” 

*and he’s looking in MY direction*  Now, wait a minute!!  He can’t possibly *know* that I have, like, 8 coffee cards in my wallet.  No way.  He doesn’t mean to imply that *I* should give up coffee and put that money towards a good use.  He must mean someone else.  Certainly, God wouldn’t want *me* to give up coffee.  I need that caffeine!

The following week – I’m sitting somewhere slightly different in the room.

He does it again!!  Aaah!  Quit looking at me when you mention coffee.  I don’t wanna give up my coffee.  Quit picking on my coffee!  *internal tantrum occurs*

I get a thought:  maybe God wants me to give up coffee for Lent.

Drat!  And here I wanted to give up something else, like perhaps solid food.  That would be fine.  I could do that.

So, I did what he said and went home and prayed about it, and….  *sigh*…  gave up coffee for Lent.  It actually went quite well.  Must be grace, because it certainly wasn’t me.  I even managed to resist when people in the store came up to me with nice, fresh, free samples of coffee.

This year:

I have issues with cooking.  I have issues with food.  I have issues with grocery stores.  I was nearly hyperventilating at Kroger the other day, just thinking about having to stick stuff in the cart.  I come up with a brilliant idea:  on the days that no one signs up to come over, I’ll just fast….  Brilliant, eh?  True, I’d probably not really end up doing that, because I realize it’s a cop-out, but in the meantime — it’s a fairly attractive thought.

Here’s the stupidity (or well, more stupidity):  I mention this “great” idea to a friend.  Said friend (ugh!) knows me too well.  🙂  She states, “No, no, no – in your case, fasting would be less penitential than eating alone!!!”

Drat again!  Seriously, have you been talking to my eating disorder specialist?  Didn’t she tell you that we like to be tricky?!?  I wasn’t kidding that this will be a hard penance for me, and I’ll have to work against myself so that I don’t sneak it into being something unhealthy, and really against what I want it to be.