Category Archives: Humor of the Day

I’m Sure This Violates ‘Theology of the Body’ in Some Way…

Humor of the Day

Okay, so I’m sick.  I want to drink my orange juice.  I cannot get the thing open.  Seriously.  I look around, and neither of my surgeons are available.

So….

 I walk across the hall — to the nearest, conveniently located boy — and shove my orange juice bottle at him and say, “Help!”

He grabs it and starts laughing at me as he opens it, without a problem.

His office-mate, Colleen, says, “See!  This is why we keep a guy around!”

I laugh and say, “Yeah, I knew Marines were good for something!”

(My apologies to any Marines who read my blog and are offended.   I am former Navy and Marty’s former Marine, so we tease each other all the time.)

I’m a What??

Humor of the Day, Meme, Neat Things I Didn't Author

You Are a Comma


You are open minded and extremely optimistic.
You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything.You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests.
You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time.

Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to.
(But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.)

You excel in: Inspiring people

You get along best with: The Question Mark

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

PAs Crack Me Up

Humor of the Day

Disembodied voice:  “Jennnnnn….  What up?”

Jenn to Bill:  “Learning about Luke today.”

Bill:  “Earning your loot today?”

Jenn:  “Ha!  I earn my loot every day!  No, ‘learning about Luke today’.  The Gospel of Luke.  About the kingdom and how to pray.”

Bill:  “Hail Mary!”

Cara:  “Amen!”

How to Tell When You Go to Mass Too Frequently…

Humor of the Day

1.  When you start choosing sticky notes at work based on liturgical color.

2.  When you start singing hymns at the office — most especially when you start singing parts of Mass around the office.

3.  When you start feeling more comfortable when things are in triplicate.

Note:  These may not be indicative of Mass frequency for those who work in, say, a parish or Archdiocetical office.

Wai 2 Funee

Humor of the Day

Ah, humor.  I love it!  I happened across this blog entry, where someone has made church signs “talk,” trying to explain Ash Wednesday.  Oh, you have to take a look!  So funny!

Bienvenue au Mardi Gras, Mes Amis!

Humor of the Day

Tristement, j’ai été dit pour parler en anglais, puisque mon docteur ne parle pas français.  😦  Ainsi, peut-être, je vous tracasserai les personnes aimables.

I Am Debbie Reynolds

Humor of the Day, Neat Things I Didn't Author

Here is a forward from Jill:

Ladies Only … Which Movie Star Are You? This is kind of fun!
Ever wonder which movie star you are most like?
Well ~ A team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of movie stars.
The gathered info has been incorporated into this quiz.
There are only 10 questions so it doesn’t take long.
Number your paper from 1 to 10, then answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life , and then add up the points that correspond with your answers.
Now Don’t look ahead or you will ruin the fun!

1. Which describes your perfect date?

a) Candlelight dinner for two
b) Amusement Park
c) Roller blading in the park
d) Rock Concert
e) Have dinner and see a movie
f) Dinner at home with a loved one

2. What is your favorite type of music?

a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Classical
e) Christian
f) Jazz

3. What is your favorite type of movie?

a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
f) Mystery

4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices?

a) Waiter/Waitress
b) Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Policeman
e) Bartender
f) Business person

5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?

a) Work out
b) Make out
c) Watch TV
d) Listen to the radio
e) Sleep
f) Read

6. Of the following colors, which do you like best?

a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky blue
d) Teal
e) Gold
f) Red

7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?

a) Ice cream
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
f) Lobster Tail

8. Which is your favorite holiday?

a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year’s
d) Valentine’s Day
e) Thanksgiving
f) Fourth of July

9 If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?

a) Reno
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
f) British Columbia

10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?

a) Someone who is smart
b) Someone with good looks
c) Someone who is a party animal
d) Someone who has fun all the time
e) Someone who is very emotional
f) Someone who is fun to be with

Now total up your points on each question:
1 a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3 f-6
2. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3 f-6
3. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5 f-6
4. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1 f-6
5. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3 f-6
6. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4 f-6
7. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5 f-6
8. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5 f-6
9. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3 f-6
10. a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4 f-6

NOW: Take your total and find out which Movie Star you are:

(10-17 points) You are MADONNA:
You are wild and crazy and you know it. You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life. People don’t always see things your way, but that doesn’t mean that y ou should do away with your beliefs. Try to remember that your wild spirit can lead to hurting yourself and others.

(18-26 points) You are DORIS DAY:
You are fun, friendly, and popular! You are a real crowd pleaser. You have probably been out on the town your share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother taught you. Marriage and children are very important to you, but only after you have fun. Don’t let the people you please influence you to stray.

(27-34 points) You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS:
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of back stabbers, and you are worry-free.

(35-42 points) You are GRACE KELLY:
You are a lover. Romance, flowers, and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself You are serious about all commitments and are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never forget a Birthday. Don’t let your passion for romance get confused with the real thing.

(43-50 points) You are KATHERINE HEPBURN:
You are smart, a real thinker. Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You don’t take crap from anyone. You have only a couple of individuals that you consider “real friends”. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don’t overlook a bad situation when it does happen.

(51-60 points) You are ELIZABETH TAYLOR:
Everyone is in awe of you. You know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you know what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say something it is money in the bank.You attract the opposite sex. Your intelligence overwhelms most. Your memory is the next thing to photographic. Everyone admires you because you are so considerate and lovable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right.

Now put your Movie Star in the subject line, then forward and share with your friends, including the person who sent it to you, if you are inclined to do so that is…

Gospel is Funny!

Humor of the Day

Whoo!  Today’s Gospel made me laugh (although I managed to barely contain myself until after I had left the church…barely…)!

Not the bushel basket part, we know that’s supposed to be funny.  But the part where it goes, “the measure by which you measure will be measured out to you.”  Okay, we hang up stockings for Christmas.  This year, I was buying decorations or something at the dollar store and I saw that they had these huge stockings.  So big, I might be able to fit inside one of them, not just my foot.  So, I got one, gleefully shoved it at my mom and told her to “Fill it!!!”  Not necessarily because I want all that stuff — I just thought it was hilarious.  In the same way, I think my miniature dishes and silverware are a riot.

So, “the measure by which you measure will be measured out to you.”  Okay.  I had this image all through Mass of going to the store and buying a bathtub-sized liquid measure.  Here you go!  *THIS* is the one by which I measure!  🙂

Not that I want to be greedy here, but maybe God would see it and laugh, and that would be the whole point.  🙂

I was still so amused by this that I just had to tell the guy at the coffee store.  So, I was good and I shared the Gospel today with someone.  🙂  He commented, “You go to church this early in the morning?”  I said, “Yup, that’s my day:  God, coffee, work.”  He replies, “And probably in that order, too.”  [Meaning my priorities.]  I cheerfully respond, “Yep!”

First Anniversary

Humor of the Day, Tales of My Amazing Priests

Okay, so yesterday I was late getting out the door, later still after clearing the snow off the car, and slightly delayed due to slower (although not horrible) traffic.  End result?  I was about 4 minutes late for Mass.

This means that I came in as the Gospel was being proclaimed.  What?!?  I wasn’t that late!  He must have known that I was going to be late and got everyone to agree to skip the first reading and started with the responsorial psalm.  Seriously.  Okay, okay.  He wouldn’t do that, but I thought I was doing pretty good, here to find out I missed almost half of Mass.  Maybe it just took me 10 minutes to walk from the parking lot to the chapel?

Anyway, I had the vague impression that there was something that I had wanted to say to Fr. John after Mass, but I could not remember what it was.  Sometimes I have a horrible memory, so during Benediction, I just kept looking at the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, trying to remember if there was something that I should be remembering.

Ah ha!  (Thank You!)  I was going to tell Fr. John that yesterday was my one year of coming into the church (building) and going up to an usher after Mass and asking, “How do you join?”

So, I stand outside the sacristy after Mass, ready to pounce, along with the other parishioners who have questions for him.  As incoherent as I often am in e-mails and blogs, I am usually far more incoherent in person, speaking.  So, I can totally understand if he thinks I’m a bubblehead.  That and I laugh a lot — so much that one of my other priests has said, “You are a giggly little pumpkin.  Come, join us, giggle over here.”

I say something like, “Hi!  It’s my one year coming into the church — coming through the door!  Thank you for scaring me back!”  And he replied, “That’s what I do!”

Hahahahahahhahahahaha!

One of these days, when I get more time (does that ever really happen?), I should post my “conversion story,” so you can get all the inside-joke references.  🙂