Category Archives: Paroxysm of Giggles

Grocery Shopping!

Because I know how fascinated you all are with my grocery shopping habits and are dying to see what I buy the few times that I actually make it to the store! 🙂

Many, many mangoes! 🙂 I LOVE these! They had a 10 for $10 sale and I decided to buy a small plethora with the idea of making a mango pie. I’ve tried the mango pie before, and it was good, but a little too juicy the way I had made it, so I’m eager to try again! I really don’t think there’s a way I wouldn’t like this fruit. Yum!
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More fruit! Yums! I’ve been on a blueberry kick for a while — can’t explain why….
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Eggplant! I have never, ever made eggplant before in my life, although I think I’ve tried it before. I grabbed one, because, well, because it was there and I figured I needed a vegetable in addition to my fruit. 🙂 I’m not certain what I will do with it, but I thought of eggplant parmesan, maybe.
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Cereal stuff — the Honey O things were new and I thought I’d give them a try over my usual Cheerios.
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The Dairy Food Group (minus the milk, because you probably all know what a gallon of milk looks like):
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The Pasta Stuff Food Group (the perciatelli is like a think spaghetti-type thing, looked interesting):
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Well, I *AM* sick, so….
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Wasting away again in…. Mmmm, salsa….
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Is that a wall of soup? Why, yes, yes it is!
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And some reading material, because I couldn’t resist the checkout display…I was held hostage…and it was either this, or more on the continuing saga of Jen-Brad-Angelina, and I just couldn’t do that today.
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Jeremy Abbott


Jeremy Abbott figure skating

Originally uploaded by qp2516

I got to see the US Nationals coverage tonight. This guy was AMAZING! He skated a clean program and made all his jumping passes look effortless.

I cannot wait to see him during the Olympic Games in Vancouver! 🙂

What was especially refreshing was his unique choreography. It truly suited him and reminded everyone watching that this wasn’t merely figure skating artistry, but it was a masculine artistry.

Bring on the Games!!!

Boy Question on a Practical Matter

Just to add a little variety to the questions that I ask … or … because inquiring minds want to know … or … because this is a real question that I have.  🙂

At what point do you need to replace your windshield?

Obvious answer:  when it’s broken.

Let me rephrase.  At what point do you **NEED** to replace your windshield?  And then, at what point *should* you replace your windshield?

See, I would place in the NEED category:  when the police tell you that you have to; when rain comes in; and when it obstructs vision in a significant way.
And in the SHOULD category:  when it gets cracked, but doesn’t obstruct vision significantly (Yes, I know that’s kind of subjective)
And in the PFFT, WHATEVER category:  those little chips and stuff that happen daily

Scenario:  I had a Pfft-Whatever ding at the bottom of the windshield that I intended to have patched or glued or whatever they do…sometime soonish.
However, Saturday night this turned into a bigger Should-style crack, but you know less than the size of a dollar, which the TV people (sources of ABSOLUTE TRUTH, especially the late night infomercial people) say is totally still patchable.
Plan:  to call the patchy people.
However, tonight the crack decided to grow into a footlong, and not one of those 5 for $5 kinds.

I blame the cold weather.
Cold weather is like my scapegoat.

So, here’s the question:  Does a roughly foot long vertical crack on the right side of the windshield about a foot from the edge constitute a NEED or a SHOULD?  And how long could a SHOULD be deferred?  Because I’m certain that in a fit of anthropomorphic rage the cold weather will lob another meteor at me as soon as I get it fixed.  🙂

Boy Questions are so much fun!  🙂  🙂

Theology of Little House on the Prairie

Evaluate this statement:  “God hates a coward.”

Background:  A friend of mine came to me with a question regarding a statement made in one of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books when Almanzo was debating about whether to risk ten miles each way in forty-below to bring Laura back to her parents’ for the weekend. He’s looking at the thermometer and hedging. Cap Garland walks by, sees him, says “God hates a coward,” and walks on to where he’s going. Almanzo later says, “I just figured he was right.”

The question was whether the statement is in line with [orthodox Catholic] Church teaching.  I would like to know what your take is on whether or not this is in line with Church teaching, and also to explore what might be meant by the statement, and its implications for how we need to live out our lives in adherence to the Truth as revealed by God.

My first response was to say that God doesn’t ever hate. Then, I made a reference to Revelation 3:16, “So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” I was viewing the cowardice as a form of “sitting on the fence.” I also indicated that it would be important, perhaps, to define what is meant by “coward.”

The response from my friend was:

Well, the validity of the statement WOULD have to hinge on what is meant by “hate” and what is meant by “coward”. But in Genesis God says “Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated” – presumably He doesn’t literally mean that He hates Esau. What does He mean by it, then?

So putting aside whether it would actually have been cowardly for [the character in the book] to have not gone – which is very debatable – let’s assume that an action IS actually cowardly. Does God hate that action? And if so, running on the assumption that God still loves the coward himself but hates his cowardly actions, if those cowardly actions are frequent and consistent, couldn’t we say “God hates a coward”?

I mean, God still doesn’t hate the PERSON. It might be more precise to say “God hates cowardice.” But could it be accurate to say “God hates a coward”, if one understands that it is not a direct literal statement of God’s feelings toward the person being called a coward?

In a quick, sketchy way, I replied:

Coward: lacking courage; very fearful or timid.
Courage: to act in accordance with one’s beliefs

I think this speaks to the core of what God calls us to: integrity.

It is one thing to say, I am afraid of going out into the snow because there are very real dangers in so doing.
It’s another thing to waffle.

You have to have faith in God.
You aren’t supposed to worry.

On these definitions, to be a coward is to not act in accordance with your beliefs.
And God certainly hates this.
Better to be ignorant and thus inadvertantly sin, than to know the truth and deliberately sin. One of the 3 main conditions for mortal sin, right? Knowing that it was wrong.

I think what the character in the book was getting at was that A needed to decide whether he was going to go or not. He either a) thought it was too dangerous or b) thought it was feasible. But his fear and indecision left his sitting on the fence and this was what he should not be doing. He should either decide that it was more prudent to stay at home and tell Laura no, or he should make preparations to go (taking into account preparations for inclement weather and adversity) and trust that God will get them there safely.

At this point, our YA Fiction theological question was sent to our chosen whipping boy AKA Fr. Ignatius, whom I always assume is delighted to have the privilege of answering all of my random questions. While waiting for a response from Fr. Ignatius, I sent another e-mail to him, further detailing some of my thoughts on the issue:

“Does God hate a coward?”
Seems kind of a narrow question, really. You could also ask, “Does God hate a procrastinator, or a nail-biter or someone who talks/e-mails too much (GASP!)” Each is maybe an aspect of a person, or even an aspect of a person at a specific moment, but does not constitute the whole of the person or even really speak to his or her relationship with God. In and of themselves, the actions could be bad or neutral. I think it speaks more to the fact that we have imperfections than our status with God.

My official answer: no. 🙂

Up next, our treatise on why marshmallow fluff is not in heaven. LOL! j/k

So, here we are left still with the initial statement. Please respond with your thoughts. 🙂

Saints Michael, Gabriel and Raphael: Archangels

From the Liturgy of the Hours, text courtesy of Universalis

Reading: A sermon of Pope St. Gregory the Great

The word “angel” denotes a function rather than a nature

You should be aware that the word “angel” denotes a function rather than a nature. Those holy spirits of heaven have indeed always been spirits. They can only be called angels when they deliver some message. Moreover, those who deliver messages of lesser importance are called angels; and those who proclaim messages of supreme importance are called archangels. And so it was that not merely an angel but the archangel Gabriel was sent to the Virgin Mary. It was only fitting that the highest angel should come to announce the greatest of all messages.
Some angels are given proper names to denote the service they are empowered to perform. In that holy city, where perfect knowledge flows from the vision of almighty God, those who have no names may easily be known. But personal names are assigned to some, not because they could not be known without them, but rather to denote their ministry when they came among us. Thus, Michael means “Who is like God”; Gabriel is “The Strength of God”; and Raphael is “God’s Remedy.”
Whenever some act of wondrous power must be performed, Michael is sent, so that his action and his name may make it clear that no one can do what God does by his superior power. So also our ancient foe desired in his pride to be like God, saying: I will ascend into heaven; I will exalt my throne above the stars of heaven; I will be like the Most High. He will be allowed to remain in power until the end of the world when he will be destroyed in the final punishment. Then, he will fight with the archangel Michael, as we are told by John: A battle was fought with Michael the archangel.
So too Gabriel, who is called God’s strength, was sent to Mary. He came to announce the One who appeared as a humble man to quell the cosmic powers. Thus God’s strength announced the coming of the Lord of the heavenly powers, mighty in battle. Raphael means, as I have said, God’s remedy, for when he touched Tobit’s eyes in order to cure him, he banished the darkness of his blindness. Thus, since he is to heal, he is rightly called God’s remedy.

New Toy Coming Today!!!

The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church

The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church

I am very excited to get my new book! 🙂 Which, of course, just proves how much of a Catholidork I am. 🙂

Sermon on the Mount

Snippets that I like from “The Lord,” by Romano Guardini.

Some of the uniqueness of the Sermon on the Mount includes:

1. The energy with which it insists upon progression from the outer, specific act of virtue to the inner, all-permeating state of virtue.
2. Its demand that the degree of identification-of-self-with-neighbor be the sole measure for purity of intent.
3. Its definition of love is the essence of man’s new disposition.

In the Sermon on the Mount, God is calling us to a vocation, one which is the “living intention of God, [the] efficacy of His love in the chosen one.”

And isn’t this what it is all about? Not taking the credit for our own goodness as anything of our own doing, but rather recognizing the fact that all goodness comes from God. Our “goodness” or properly ordered acts are rather merely a cooperation with the graces given by God. We are not so much acting of our own volition, but cooperating with His will. We are letting His grace flow through us; we are letting His love be efficacious through us. We are, if you will, merely a conduit for His action. This is not to say we are mere tools. What saves us from this is the fact of our free will. We have the option of being not so much a conduit, but more of a dam — stemming the flow of God’s grace. We can refuse to cooperate with His will, and in so doing thwart the efficacy of His love.

A great analogy of this was given by Deacon John last Sunday: our relationship with God is a lot like a pair of magnets. In the proper order of things, we are aligned so that we natually have an attraction to God and move in His direction, the same way that properly aligned magnets have an attraction for each other and seek to become one, even to the point of joining their electromagnetic fields to make one, stronger, field. When we choose to sin, we are flipping one of the magnets around. God stays in the same orientation, but we have turned away from Him, and in so doing, we have created an obligatory separation. Aligned in this manner, no longer is there one magnetic field, but two. The harder one tries to push the two magnets together, the greater the force which separates them. You cannot join yourself to God if you remain oriented away from Him. Great analogy. Points to Deacon John for appealing to my ET Nuke nerdiness. 🙂

“What the Sermon on the Mount demands is not everything or nothing, but a beginning and continuing, a rising again and plodding on after every fall.”

I Hates ‘Em!

Recently, I have been feeling a little Gollum. I have been given a prescription for these pills, to try them out and see if they improve my chest pain. I am highly skeptical, but (grudgingly) willing to try. Okay, I think I started taking the things on Wednesday. By Friday, I was hissing at them, the mean little hobbitses.

However, I must admit to being the world’s worst pill-taker.

Since Saturday has a much different format than a weekday, I completely forgot to take my pills until just as I was making lunch. And then, I’m supposed to take them on an empty stomach at least 30 minutes prior to eating. Several hours after lunch, I had forgotten again.

Ditto Sunday.

Monday, I had taken the pill bottle out of my backpack (trying to remember to take them on Sunday, but failing), so when I went to work, they were on the kitchen table. Monday = FAIL.

Ditto Tuesday.

Ugh! Stupid pills! And I’m supposed to take them in the morning. I get up about 4:45 a.m., get ready, and head off for Mass. I should try to get breakfast in, but this rarely happens. I need a better plan. And getting up earlier is not really a good option for me. I need increasing amounts of sleep lately.

Any good suggestions?

I will be so glad when this month and its Pills-for-No-Reason are OVER. 🙂

Funniest Doctor’s Appointment Ever!

She’s trying to figure me out, see where to send me next. Debating between Endocrine and Neurology. Finally she says Endocrine first, “because they have more curable diseases.”

We talk for a couple minutes more, then she says she will have U of M call me with the appt. I verify, “Okay, Endocrine, right?”

She says, “No. Neurology. I changed my mind. You could just be really brain damaged.”

I laugh and laugh.

She says, “I’m sorry. That’s a horrible thing to say. But you seem to have a sense of humor.”

LOL!

So soon they will see just how brain damaged I am! 🙂

She said on the way out the door, “You have to be careful when you call here; my staff keeps wanting to send you to the ER.”

Mystic or Unbeliever

H/T to Steve, who originally sent this to me:

When the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they themselves got into boat, and came to Capernaum looking for Jesus (Jn 6:24).

A generation ago, Karl Rahner made the statement that there would soon come a time when each of us will either be a mystic or a non-believer.

What’s implied here?

At one level it means that anyone who wants to have faith today will need to be much more inner-directed than in previous generations. Why? Because up until our present generation in the secularized world, by and large, the culture helped carry the faith. We lived in cultures (often immigrant and ethnic subcultures) within which faith and religion were part of the very fabric of life. Faith and church were embedded in the sociology. It took a strong, deviant action not to go to church on Sunday. Today, as we know, the opposite if more true, it takes a strong, inner-anchored act to go to church on Sunday. We live in a moral and ecclesial diaspora and experience a special loneliness that comes with that. We have few outside supports for our faith.

The culture no longer carries the faith and the church. Simply put, we knew how to be believers and church-goers when we were inside communities that helped carry that for us, communities within which most everyone seemed to believe, most everyone went to church, and most everyone had the same set of moral values. Not incidentally, these communities were often immigrant, poor, under-educated, and culturally marginalized. In that type of setting, faith and church work more easily. Why? Because, among other reasons, as Jesus said, it is hard for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.

To be committed believers today, to have faith truly inform our lives, requires finding an inner anchor beyond the support and security we find in being part of the cognitive majority wherein we have the comfort of knowing that, since everyone else is doing this, it probably makes sense. Many of us now live in situations where to believe in God and church is to find ourselves without the support of the majority and at times without the support even of those closest to us, spouse, family, friends, colleagues. That’s one of the things that Rahner is referring to when he says we will be either mystics or non-believers.

But what is this deep, inner-anchor that is needed to sustain us? What can give us the support we need?

What can help sustain our faith when we feel like unanimity-minus-one is an inner center of strength, meaning, and affectivity that is rooted in something beyond what the world thinks and what the majority are doing on any given day? There has to be a deeper source than outside affirmation to give us meaning, justification, and energy to continue to do what faith asks of us. What is that source?

In the gospel of John, the first words out of Jesus’ mouth are a question: “What are you looking for?” Essentially everything that Jesus does and teaches in the rest of Johns gospel gives an answer to that question: We are looking for the way, the truth, the life, living water to quench our thirst, bread from heaven to satiate our hunger. But those answers are partially abstract. At the end of the gospel, all of this is crystallized into one image:

On Easter Sunday morning, Mary Magdala goes out searching for Jesus. She finds him in a garden (the archetypal place where lovers meet) but she doesn’t recognize him. Jesus turns to her and, repeating the question with which the gospel began, asks her: What are you looking for? Mary replies that she is looking for the body of the dead Jesus and could he give her any information as to where that body is. And Jesus simply says: “Mary.” He pronounces her name in love. She falls at his feet.

In essence, that is the whole gospel: What are we ultimately looking for? What is the end of all desire? What drives us out into gardens to search for love? The desire to hear God pronounce our names in love. To hear God, lovingly say: “Mary,” “Jack,” “Jennifer,” “Walter.”

Several years ago, I made a retreat that began with the director telling us: “I’m only going to try to do one thing with you this week, I’m going to try to teach you how to pray so that sometime (perhaps not this week or perhaps not even this year, but sometime) in prayer, you will open yourself up in such a way that you can hear God say to you – I love you! – because unless that happens you will always be dissatisfied and searching for something to give you a completeness you don’t feel. Nothing will ever be quite right. But once you hear God say those words, you wont need to do that restless search anymore.”

He’s right. Hearing God pronounce our names in love is the core of mysticism and it is too the anchor we need when we face misunderstanding from without and depression from within, when we feel precisely like unanimity-minus-one.

Fr. Ron Rolheiser
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How true that we have to make the decision whether to follow the crowd and seek out the approval of others, or to follow Jesus and seek out His approval. It is in a sense more difficult to be a disciple in this age where everything is focused on self-gratification, but on the other hand, it can be a good thing in that the people who are attending church and are following Christ are doing it because they truly love Him, and not because of cultural pressure. Jesus wants us to come to Him out of love, not obligation.