Category Archives: Prayer/Prayer Requests

“Pro-Child, Pro-Choice”

Prayer/Prayer Requests, Right to Life Issues

This was a bumper sticker that I saw in the parking lot of work this morning.  It made me stop and think.  Okay, you are “pro-child”, and that is a good thing, because all life is precious, and all people are made in the image and likeness of God.

But, which children?  Obviously, it can’t be all children, because if you are “pro-choice,” then you are in favor of the destruction of certain children, at least conditionally.  So, certainly you are not “pro-” that child. 

Then, which children are you in support of?  Those whom you have deemed acceptable due to an arbitrary standard?  Those whom are convenient and fit into your plans for your life?  What of the others?  Are they unnecessary, inconvenient and defective and thus able to be discarded carelessly?

Apparently, this is a true statement, at least according to the culture of death in which we find ourselves.  It doesn’t only apply to the unborn — it is also true for those who are not “productive members of society” or those who are too old or too sick or too whatever-it-may-be.  For those who do not fit society’s arbitrary measuring stick of personal value.

And what if God took this view?  Could I be seen as unnecessary, inconvenient and defective in His eyes?  Certainly, God doesn’t, strictly speaking, need anything.  So, I suppose that it could be said that I am unnecessary.  Inconvenient and defective?  Well, I think those go hand and hand to a degree.  I am certainly a stubborn, sinful little sheep.  I would imagine that it would be more convenient to only accept into heaven those people who were not sinful.  Probably a little inconvenient to have to purify people in Purgatory.  And defective?  Well, if my heart and will are not conformed to Christ’s, then, yeah, I’m still defective.  And we all have concupiscence, so I would imagine that that applies to each of us.

Praise God that He is not “pro-choice” in this manner.  Thanks be to God that He is “pro-life,” and not just in a general sense, but pro- my life and pro- your life, specifically.  In a radical and passionate way, is He pro- our lives.  He gave His only son — for us!  We hear that and we say that a lot — but do we really get it?  I don’t think so.  I think at most, on our good days, we might get a sliver of what this means, but we probably do not really get it on a day-to-day basis.  For if we did, how could we possibly make the bad decisions that we do?

“Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”  I think a lot of us are here.  We are like blind little sheep with hardened hearts.  Some of us are content to stay this way, or think that we know better and are rooted in place, spiritually, by our own pride.  Some of us are struggling to overcome our sheepness, and grow in virtue, and we will continually fall, but I think the point here is that we forgive each other our transgressions and work with one another to pick each other back up, point our brother in the correct direction towards God, and continue in the journey until — please, God — we have all made it safely home.

I pray today, Lord, that You will give me the grace to master my will against my tendency to sin.

How My Car Teaches Me About God, Parenting and Myself

Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Of Vice and Virtue, Prayer/Prayer Requests

I went to Mass this morning in a pretty good mood, about half-way into my trip, I put on a Podcast talking about what happens during Mass.  I am actually not sick today — feeling pretty good physically; so that helped my happy mood, too.  I was running a little late and walked into church just a few seconds before Mass began.  Literally, I walked in the chapel just ahead of Fr. John and probably caused him to have to wait for me at the baptismal font.

I usually have a very difficult time with distractions during Mass.  Not that I don’t want to be fully engaged, but Fr. JJ thinks that I may have a little bit of ADHD, and I keep having to bring myself back to what is occurring in front of me.  My mind wanders so very easily.  But today, I managed to stay mostly focused (by the grace of God, certainly).  As Mass continued, I became increasingly joyful, almost to the point of grinning.  (I try not to do that, though — wouldn’t want Father to think I was laughing at him or something.)  I became so joyful, that I was worried about after Mass for a moment, because I intended to ask Fr. John about the outcome of the vote in the Michigan senate (?) about partial-birth abortions, and it just wouldn’t do to be smiling when one asks about that sort of thing.

After Mass, I caught him and he asked how I was doing (“Very, very good!  You?”) and then he paused when I asked about the partial-birth abortions and said that he hadn’t heard anything other than they were supposed to vote on Wednesday, but didn’t, then they were supposed to vote yesterday, but didn’t — and to keep praying.  He started inching towards the door (and his car) again, while I remained behind to talk to a friend whose wife is due in just a few weeks with their second child.

As I left and approached my car, I saw something concerning.  I stopped and looked at the passenger side and there was one — no, two — vertical dents in the door.  Obviously, someone had hit my car with their door.  My car is not quite 5 months old, and it’s the first new car I’ve ever had.  I stood there for a second, feeling the dents, waiting to feel anger — for surely that has always been my response to things like this — a visceral, self-righteous hatred of the negligent offender.  To my surprise, that anger…never came.  I was still happy and joyful, and I didn’t understand why.

So, I pondered this.

First, I thought about how even though it was important to me, it was just a thing.  And things will come and go.

Second, I don’t have control over anything other than my own actions.  I can try to protect my car, but there is going to be a time (quite frequently) where I am not around and it is going to be on its own, for better or for worse.  I have to learn to let go and not try to cling or control all situations.  Worry and anger aren’t going to change anything, and they aren’t going to prevent anything — so, why be anxious?

Third, as I looked at my car, I felt sorry, and I think I actually said something to it like, “I’m sorry this happened to you, but I still love you just the same.”  Now, I’m not really in love with my car.  Certainly, I like it and I enjoy it, but I’m not obsessed with it or anything like that.  So I thought about what I said and realized that in a way, this might be how God feels about us.  He may be sorry that bad things happen to us, and sorrowful when we sin, knowing that we are hurting ourselves, but He loves us anyway — despite our dents.  And in the end, when we go home, we may look at one another and see all of the dents that we have and praise God all the more for His mercy and His grace and His aid to help us through all the rough patches during our pilgrimage here.

Fourth, I wondered at the power of the Eucharist, for certainly this grace that was given to me to look beyond myself and my interests had to have come from Him.  It *had* to be due to the presence of God dwelling within me.  What an amazing thing that is!  I hope that I am always open to having Him work through me, and to be able to reflect His love onto others.  To not only work towards, but to desire to conform myself to Christ.

Finally, I prayed for the person who dented my car.  Perhaps they were having a really bad day and they need prayer to help with whatever situation they were/are in.  Perhaps it was an accident and they felt horrible about it, and they need to know that it’s okay, that they can slip up and still be loved by God and by their neighbors.  Perhaps they were just negligent and uncaring, in which case I pray that God will open their hearts to a sense of communion with others and work on their heart to make them desire to fully be a part of the Body of Christ.

Then, I looked at myself, and wondered if maybe this wasn’t just a small beginning into understanding what it means to lead a Christian life, and to want the good for others and to die to self.  For certain, it is only a very, very small step, but just maybe I’ll be able to take something away from this experience and be able to apply it in the future in a positive way.

Have a joyous, blessed day!  🙂

Translation, please!

Humor of the Day, Prayer/Prayer Requests, Question of the Day

Okay, I had to go to the store before going home today.  Since the grocery store which I have been shopping at lately is right by my church, I thought it would be a great idea to stop by the chapel for a little while and “waste some time with the Lord.”

After praying for a bit, I decided to grab a Bible sitting in the pew.  One of the ways He speaks to us is through scripture, right?  So, I pick it up and open it, not knowing really what I expect to read, and then the thought comes into my head, “Hey, why not something from Sirach today?”  I agree with that, and flip to Sirach.  Then, this leaps off the page at me:

Sirach 30:14-17 
[14] Better off is a poor man who is well and strong in constitution
than a rich man who is severely afflicted in body.
[15] Health and soundness are better than all gold,
and a robust body than countless riches.
[16] There is no wealth better than health of body,
and there is no gladness above joy of heart.
[17] Death is better than a miserable life,
and eternal rest than chronic sickness.

Now, just what is He trying to tell me?!?!?!?!

 And that’s not all!  After this, I head for the grocery store, still internally squawking, and start my browsing for dinner-type items.  Then, I notice what’s playing on the radio/grocery sound system….

A song I’ve never heard before, which is mostly repeating the same line over and over….

“Baby, just let yourself go.”

And every once in a while, to mix it up is a, “I’ll be coming for you.”

Perhaps I’m just a little paranoid over my medical tests….  🙂  But seriously, He couldn’t have given me a “Do not be afraid for I am with you” or even “It’s a beautiful day” ??

Nineveh

Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Prayer/Prayer Requests

John 15:16
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

This seems like an apt reflection for the day.  For a while now, I have been pondering a situation which I have found myself in.  Let’s start by using a Jonah analogy (because I love Jonah), and go from there.

God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh.  Jonah’s not particularly excited to go to Nineveh.  Jonah decides to go for a boat ride, because boat rides are fun and then he doesn’t have to think about Nineveh.  He falls asleep, and wakes up with the boat on shore.  God tells him, “You’re in Nineveh.”  Jonah pouts, “What?!?  Are you serious?  I didn’t want to go to Nineveh.”  God says, “Tough.  Here you are.”

 As you may have guessed, I’m Jonah in this story.  As necessary background, I suppose I should say that I have odd views on family, and I tend to “adopt” people into my “family.”  My “chosen family,” as I call them.  And I love them as I love the members of my family:  completely, unconditionally, permanently.  I also have other categories:  such as my close friends, my long-term friends, and friends whom I consider to have been given to me by God.  I tend to feel, for the most part, that I have some active choice in who I designate as my “family.”

Except for this one case.

[Ignore the wrong pronouns, I’m trying to be non-gender-specific….  🙂 ]  I met this person a while ago, and I thought they were fine, pleasant, interesting, intelligent — any manner of things.  But also a little scary, in the way that they seemed to “get me” so quickly and accurately.  There were other factors that went into it, but suffice it to say that I decided that I would keep this person at arms length from me.  Oh, I would definitely interact with them, but I wasn’t about to make it personal.

Critical Steinbeck Error — you know, “best laid plans of mice and men….” ?  Or that other quote, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

So, this arms length thing being my decision, God says, “Oh, really?  Nope.  Actually, I’m going to make you care for this person.”  [Okay, God didn’t really speak to me in words as such, so this is my translation of what I got.  I’m sure God can speak much more eloquently than this, but He’s speaking to my level here….]

“What?  No, no, no.  I want an impersonal, working relationship.  Nothing complicated or messy or, well, involved.”  So, I go about trying to minimize contact with this person, to create a bubble between me and them.  My little ostrich head was firmly planted in the sand, and my fingers were in my ears, “La la la, I can’t hear you!”

A little while later, Gods tell me, “You know what?  Not only are you going to care for them, but you are going to love them.  They will be your family.”

“But I don’t want that!!!”  I didn’t actually go so far as to tell God “No,” but I made my preference clear.  “I don’t want to love this person!”

Then, God laughs.  “Tough.  Look in your heart.  You already do.”

Oh no.  I did.

After that, it’s like a phrase that a friend of mine likes to say:  “You will do it.  You will like it.  And you will like liking it.”  But first, being me, I had to spend at least a little time grumbling about the fact that I didn’t particularly choose to make this person part of my family.  But, what do you do?  When you love, you love.  And God didn’t give me one of these fleeting affections.  It’s like all of me is deeply involved in the well-being of this Other.  And of course, being me, I was concerned about this.  What if it wasn’t something of God, and was instead some personal psychiatric disorder?  What if for some reason, I had developed some unnatural fixation or obsession with this person, and was trying to justify it to myself?  Maybe I just wanted love or approval in return and thought that this person would reciprocate?  Any sort of questioning you can think of — I put myself through it.  Basically, I didn’t trust myself not to be messed up in some way.  I’m not the best at relationships.  Haha, or trusting!

 So, now I have this person.  And they are my family.  And I pray for them every day.  And I worry over them.  I’m okay if they are okay.  I don’t have to be a major player in this person’s life, even though they are a major player in mine.  It’s not necessary or even expected that they would care for me.  And I’m okay with that too.

Sometimes, I wondered about all this, but mostly I just accepted it and went about my business praying for and worrying about and rejoicing in the fact that God made this unique individual, and that He wrote this person onto my heart.

Recently, however, I came across this Vatican document or other.  And it was kind of talking about this:  that sometimes God may give a person to another person, for them to carry spiritually.  To love and nurture and pray for and suffer for.  Sometimes, a person is given an Other to carry, and s/he may have never met the person before.  Or may not ever meet them (until heaven).

Maybe this is what has been going on with me and my person.

Which brings me back to John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

I didn’t choose God.  God choose me.  I have no idea why, but God called me from my secular, atheist life and gave me a new heart and faith and a deep hunger to know Him.  And now He’s given me this Other.  So, now I have to go bear fruit.  I had not ever consciously decided to pray for this person every day.  It just happened on its own.  I wanted to.  It is a joy.  And maybe that is a purpose for me.  A task.  A calling.  A something.

And so while I didn’t want to go to Nineveh, I ended up in Nineveh anyway.  And you know what?  Nineveh’s a pretty awesome place.  And I will continue to muddle my way along, trying to discern God’s will.

Thanking Him for this gift.

How Prayer is Like Sex

Prayer/Prayer Requests, Theology of the Body

It is commonly thought that sex can chemically bind the two partners.

“In humans, oxytocin is thought to be released during hugging, touching, and orgasm in both sexes. In the brain, oxytocin is involved in social recognition and bonding, and may be involved in the formation of trust between people and generosity.” “Bonding. In the Prairie Vole, oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner. Vasopressin appears to have a similar effect in males. In people, plasma concentrations of oxytocin have been reported to be higher amongst people who claim to be falling in love.”  Quotes from Wikipedia entry:  Oxytocin

Prayer, I think, binds you to those people for whom you are praying.  You are taking an active interest in their lives, if you are praying in sincerity and not just saying words for the sake of saying words, but actually directing your will in your thoughts in supplication to the Lord for the benefit of another.  Not to say that there is some physiologic something that is going on, but when you bring another person’s interests before the Lord in a sincere and unselfish way, I think there is a relational connection made there.  Some type of grace.  Perhaps in recognition of your unselfish act, your gift of self, as it were, in that moment; perhaps as a help to foster relationships between people, for communion, as we are all called to communion with God and each other.

“Don’t you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not.”  From the movie “Vanilla Sky,” 2001.

 Take this as it is, my own late night musings, but it seems to me that as I pray for others, and especially as I pray repeatedly for them, I develop a connection with these people — a deep interest in their life and well-being.  And this draws me to want to know them more and to give more of myself out to them.  Which usually results in my praying for them even more.  This also seems to happen more when if you pray for them in secret or for a specific person whom you have not met.  Perhaps because in these ways, your prayer is more of a gift of self than if you are praying for one for whom you already care deeply.

One Fish, Two Fish

Prayer/Prayer Requests, St. Anastasia

It’s kind of like the blind leading the blind, but this year (my neophyte year) I am sponsoring someone into the Catholic church.  I didn’t know her before the initial RCIA meeting this fall, but she is amazing.  We are so much alike, which as you know, is dangerous…for society.

Earlier this week, Karen told me that Steve had been coming to RCIA meetings without having had anything to eat all day.  And she would not stand for this any longer.  I offered to try and make something for him, but the night before I realized that I had nothing in the house and it was already 11:30 pm.  I had to get up at 4:30 am, and I just couldn’t make myself run out to the grocery store and then cook a meal.  So, after a flurry of text messages late Tuesday afternoon, we showed up at church; Karen had brought lasagna from home, Lindsay brought veggies and milk, I had gotten bread, dessert and Starbucks for us all.  How fun!

It was all on Karen’s initiative.  See?  Didn’t I say she was amazing?

We have been having fun with our name tags.  Yesterday, we decided to go as One Fish and Two Fish, and we got Lindsay and Tania to be Red Fish and Blue Fish.  🙂  Karen stated, “I am the One Fish!”  And I thought that “Two Fish” was horribly appropriate for me, since I tend to like the #2 position in any official hierarchical structure.

 If you would not mind, since you obviously have tons of free time, as you are reading MY blog :), please pray for Karen and her fiancé, Brian.  Brian has applied to medical school here and we would really like him to be accepted, so that he and Karen can stay in Michigan.  Thank you!

Hello? Jenn? Do You Hear Me? Hello?

Prayer/Prayer Requests

Continuing in my avoidance of doing work, I am browsing through some other blogs.  One I happen to like a lot is Jen’s “Et tu?” (She has my name, it’s French, she was an atheist who joined the Church on Easter 2007 — same as me, she says a lot of the things that I think, but never have the time to write down or the eloquence to state them as well.)

She wrote this entry on listening to God, instead of falling into despair.  He may be answering your prayers when you aren’t paying attention.  I have found what Jen has found — that often I’ll have a day, and I’ll open up my Bible or a prayer book, and right there will be something that speaks to my situation.  God’s pretty amazing like that.  Sometimes, I can see it, but not see it.  And sometimes, I need to be whapped on the head.  I can be very contrary when it comes to things that are good for me.  I can a very stupid sheep sometimes (a lot of the time?).

Here’s one of these moments:  yesterday, I went to church after work for the Stations of the Cross.  On top of my recent health issues, I have come down with some sort of malaise.  Due to the health issues, two friends of mine (a husband and a wife) took me into the chapel after Stations to pray over me.  I can’t put into words what that experience was like, being in the presence of the Lord with these two wonderful people.  Toward the end, the husband leaned over to me and told me to note which Station we were sitting next to in the chapel.  Then he said that he felt that God was telling him to tell me this (and I’ll probably get the quote wrong):  that I didn’t have to crucify myself, that Christ had already done that for us.  Then he said that he didn’t know what that meant for me, but that it was something that he felt he had to tell me.

After they left, I pondered this for a while.  What I finally came up with was a different phrase, but one that I think relates, “Don’t try to grasp at what is being freely given to you.”  Kinda goes back to one of my core issues.  “Maybe if I am good enough, God will love me.”  “Maybe if I do enough things, succeed, my parents will be proud of me.”  “Maybe if I am happy and nice, people will love me.”  Some action is required on my part to be worthy of love or to have any value at all.

So, “Don’t try to grasp at what is being freely given to you.”

Don’t try to do-do-do to get God/people to love you, He/they love you already.

What a hard thing to me to try and wrap my head around.

You mean…I have inherent worth and value?  Other people, certainly, but not *me*, right?

Similar things have been said along this vein to me this weekend, like:

“You should get anointed.”
Jenn:  “Isn’t that for really sick people?”
“You need healing.  Get the Anointing!”
Jenn:  “I don’t know….  I don’t want to make a big thing of this.  Isn’t the Anointing on a Friday morning?”
“Any priest can do it at any time.  Call Becky.  Make an appointment.  You will call, won’t you?”
Jenn the stupid sheep:  “Mmmm….”
“It’s a sacrament.  Sacraments give grace, right?”
Jenn:  “Yes…”
“I’m serious — get the Anointing!”

See how Jenn the Stupid Sheep shies away from things that are good for her….  She is amazed she wasn’t hit with a ClueBat. (ClueBat – definition per urbandictionary.com: A metaphorical bat used to ‘beat some sense into’ someone who is blatantly stupid.)  Surely, she’s not sick enough for *that*, is she?

And again:

“Do you have a fever?”
Jenn:  “I don’t know.  I don’t feel as hot as I did yesterday, but I didn’t take my temperature.”
“Do you have a thermometer?”
Jenn:  “Yes.”
“Well, you should check.  And if you have a fever, you should take a Tylenol.”
Jenn:  “Nnnnn.  I don’t like taking things.  My mom never took anything or gave us anything unless we were nearly dead.”
“You are not your mother.  You should get the fever down.”
Jenn:  “Nnnnn.”  *Jenn feel another ClueBat-ing being scheduled for her….*

Aside:  I *did* check my temperature, although I was fairly sure I didn’t have a fever.  Normal body temp is 98.6 degrees F.  I am currently 97.7 degrees F.

Back to that listening thing….

Prayer Request/In Memoriam

Prayer/Prayer Requests

Today, on the way in to work, one of my coworkers was noting a particularly icy patch.  She said that at least 8 people were off in the ditch.  One guy was out of his car, trying to push himself out.  As she watched, someone slid off the road and ran directly into the man.  She tried to stop to help him, but her car was starting to slide.  She did note that 3 other cars were able to stop to offer assistance.  Please pray for this man.  And for all the travelers out there in this weather. 

Update:  There is a news article about the weather which mentions this accident.

This story is particularly striking for me.  Soon after I left enlisted service to go to U of M, I got a call over spring break from one of my best friends.  She was stationed on the Ike, an aircraft carrier.  Also on the carrier was a mutual friend of ours, René, with whom we went to Nuke school with in Florida.  René had just returned from a 6 month deployment and was on his way to the airport to fly back to Texas to spend his leave visiting with his family.  He usually asks [my friend who called] for a ride, but on this day, he caught a ride with someone else.  On the way, they got a flat tire and pulled off into the breakdown lane.  René, being the sweet person he is, went around back to change the tire.  I think it was raining, although now, I am not certain if that is a correct memory.  A girl ran off the road and hit René, pinning him between the two cars bumpers.  He was taken to the hospital, where they had to amputate both of his legs.  He died of shock that evening.

I pray that you are home with God.  We love you, Néné.