Little White Book, Tuesday 3/25
Today’s Gospel is Jn 20:11-18, where (to horribly paraphrase) Mary Magdalene is upset because the tomb is empty (thinking someone stole His body), and doesn’t immediately recognise Jesus when he greets her.
So, the book asks me, “…if there are times when the Lord is present to me in a special way and I miss it because it’s not what I expected.”
It would not do for me to simply say, “Yes.” What would probably be more appropriate is if you imagine me, in traditional online terminology, ROFL. Seriously, sobbing with laughter, over the fact that Yes! yes! I miss it all the time! I have even pointed out some times in this very blog, how badly I’ve not gotten it. So much so that I think that my (current) confessor would love to be able to whap me upside the head with a ClueBat sometimes, but (barely) refrains.
Of course, he would probably whap me for saying that he wants to whap me, but that’s besides the point. I’m supposed to be working on this “thinking that people want to whap me, instead of love me” concept.
“God is so in love with you!”
“Are you sure? I am highly squishable. Are you sure He doesn’t want to squish me? I can see how He’d love other people, but me?” *makes squishy sound*
So, you know that part in today’s Gospel after Mary Magdalene speaks to Him, thinking He’s the gardener? And He says, “Mary!” ? That part makes me happy. Why? Because I know that I get crazy-silly some times, and I tend to let my silliness build on itself evermore to new heights of the ridiculous. I need someone sometimes to call me back down to earth, to what is real, to the Truth. Praise be to God that He is patient like that and cares enough to call after me, “Jenn!” and bring me back, time and again, and calm me before I go super-crit like a runaway reaction.