Little White Book, Friday 3/28
Reflection on the Gospel of the day: Jn 21:1-14. “Jesus constantly reaches out to me, extends his graced love to me. He wants only to care for me, help me, heal me, forgive me. There are times when I especially need to be cared for. By Jesus.”
How true is that! Yesterday was a poster-child day for this particular reflection. How humbling is it that our Risen Lord, the one who gave his very life for us on the cross in a particularly horrible fashion, has defeated death and redeemed us from our [MY] sins, and then goes to makes the disciples [us] breakfast. What reckless, gratuitous love! One would expect the scenario to go more like, “I just gave my life for you! Now, you make me breakfast!” Except, that’s not our Lord.
Obviously, I have quite a long way to go, if I want to conform my life to Christ’s. I suppose, too, that my expectation to be the one serving breakfast also shows how wrong my thinking is — not that in some way, I shouldn’t be adequately responding to that amazing gift of love — for certainly I should; but that I shouldn’t feel that I need to be the one serving. As He mentions, He came to serve. Not for me to take advantage of or to think is my due — for I am wholly unworthy — but for me to abandon myself into His care. To give up my frustrating and futile attempts to take care of everything on my own. To allow Him to step in and take care of me.
Now, *there’s* an exercise in death-to-self: to quit keeping the Lord at arm’s length while I try to fix me on my own, and to give over to His infinitely greater wisdom and capability.