Reconciliation

Since tomorrow is Divine Mercy Sunday, I thought it would be best to reconcile myself with God. I figured that my priests at my home parish would probably be quite busy, so I decided to drive down to St. Bonaventure in Detroit.

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It had only been 2 weeks or so since my last confession, but I have things that I struggle with for which I need grace, and I have been feeling rather conflicted between the “me” that I was before and the “me” that I am now that I know the Lord.

During my absolution, the priest said that he absolved me of all the sins of my past life.

That’s right. My past life.

That hit me about like an anvil.

It wasn’t all that long ago that I was attending a lecture by Fr. John, where he was telling us that Reconciliation is like a second baptism, where we are cleansed from our sins and made new again.

Each time I go to Reconciliation, I am made into a new creature, and my past sins are forgiven and gone. They truly are the sins of my past life.

Then, before I left, the priest gave me some prayers. I got a booklet called “One Bread, One Body” which appears to be some daily reflections taking us from Winter into the Lenten season — a little out-of-date, but I am sure still very valuable and worthy of reflection. A sheet on how to pray the rosary (since I admitted that I do not really do this all that often). And these two prayers:

A Litany of the Person
image of God
born of God’s breath
vessel of divine Love
after his likeness
dwelling of God
cacacity for the infinite
eternally known
chosen of God
home of infinite Majesty
abiding in the Son
called from eternity
life in the Lord
temple of the Holy Spirit
branch of Christ
receptacle of the Most High
wellspring of Living Water
heir of the kingdom
the glory of God
abode of the Trinity.
God sings this litany
eternally in his Word.
This is who you are.

My Lord God
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you well never leave me to face my perils alone. — Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”

I do not normally get emotional going to Confession. I wasn’t particularly emotional during this one, or right afterwards. I came out of the confessional and went into the church to pray my penance in front of the tabernacle. As I was kneeling there before the Lord, I just started weeping. I couldn’t tell you why. I was sorry for my sins, but I wasn’t weighed down in sorrow. Actually, despite my tears, I felt… love. His love for me and mine for Him. And gratitude.

I am not sure why, but I find much comfort in going to St. Bonaventure for Reconciliation.

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