Day 1: Love is Patient

January 1, 2013The Love DareCadyLy

I suppose today’s dare actually began during Mass at the very beginning of the day today. Right after receiving communion, as I knelt down to pray, I remember reflecting upon the host that I had just consumed. I felt as if God were speaking to me of His plans for me for the coming year. I think what he wants for me this year is an increased sense of docility to him. A softening of my heart. A new gentleness.

How fitting then that this first day tackles the subject of patience.

I think that part of being a patient person is docility to the will of God. If I know, if I *truly* know, that God loves me and always wills for my good, then I can suffer anything, because I know that He will see me through it.

The reading tells of a fruit of patience: “Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.” Docility, reliance, peace. The reading also says that, “it gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.”

I am not often angry with God, but there is a relationship that I have that I was on the verge of bailing on. Not that I wish ill toward anyone, but I have been hurt so many times before by so many people, that I tend to quietly leave situations rather than to suffer more hurt, particularly when I do not think that the other party is that interested in my friendship. I mean, if they do not really care, why should I keep trying?

But this is the hardness of my heart speaking, I think.

And if I want to practice patience for Jesus’s sake, then I think He is giving me a situation where I can try to show patience — and perhaps it is in this relationship.

So today, I got the opportunity to see things, or at least one instance, from the other party’s point of view. And I certainly have fault. Clearly, what I need is to have patience in this instance. Patience for God to work in me. For Him to soften my heart and help me to grow and learn to love better. For as I treat others, so do I treat Him. I pray that He will help me and give me the grace that I need.

The Love Dare: The Beginning

January 1, 2013The Love DareCadyLy

I watched the movie Fireproof recently, and as I talked about in a recent Quick Takes, I have been kicking around the idea of using the Love Dare in my relationship with God.

Okay, you’re right. It should be done with one single person in mind and God is three persons. Let me be more specific, then. I will see if I can apply the Love Dare to my relationship with Jesus. I get that it’s going to be a challenge sometimes, but I am hoping that I will still be able to see an improvement in the relationship as I become more aware of my own selfishness and seek to do what is best for Him (or based on His wants for me and not my wants for me).

Just like it says in the trailer, it’s a decision to begin leading your heart instead of following your heart. Many of the saints experienced what is called a “Dark Night of the Soul”, where they experienced aridity in their prayer life and/or couldn’t feel the presence of God in their lives. It is during these times that they had to lead their hearts.

I have a decent amount of knowledge about God, but as I reflected on this Year of Faith that we are in, I realized that while learning ever more about God is a good thing, I don’t want it to be the only thing. A personal relationship with the persons of the Trinity is what changes a “religious scholar” into a “theologian”. And I want my heart to be in it. I want my heart to be in Him. Isn’t that his main point to the Pharisees?

And so I begin.

Please pray for me, as I keep you in prayer as well.

Safe!

January 1, 2013Holidays, SacramentsCadyLy

Earlier this evening, I went out with a friend to see Les Miserables again. I still love it! Afterwards, we went to Chili’s for dinner. Towards the end of the meal, I was starting to not feel well, so when I got home, I decided to take a nap before Midnight Mass.

I set my alarm, but when it went off, I still wasn’t feeling better, so I kept hitting snooze.

Finally, I decided to get up and go. Because I really do love going to Midnight Mass to start off the new year. And because I was concerned that if I let myself just sleep, I might miss the 10 am Mass tomorrow morning. 🙂

I really need about 20 minutes to make it to Ss. Cyril and Methodius on time, but left about a quarter to midnight. Traffic and lights were cooperative and I made it to a seat in the church just as the last bells of midnight were ringing and they were announcing the hymn for the processional. 🙂 SAFE! I thought. Sliding in to home plate, just before the priest greets us all with a loud “Happy New Year!”

It was a lovely Mass. As I sat in my car, ready to go home, the radio was on and I caught the tail end of one song. All I heard of it was a phrase, “See Heaven’s got plan for you.” And as I was leaving the parking lot, the next song sang to me, “I’m glad you came!” Both great things to hear right after Mass! 🙂

If the link works, here is the first song that I was listening to:

Safe!

January 1, 2013Holidays, MassChili's, Les Miserables, mass, Midnight Mass, New Year's, Ss. Cyril & MethodiusCadyLy

I set my alarm, but when it went off, I still wasn’t feeling better, so I kept hitting snooze.

Christmas Season Header

December 30, 2012HolidaysChristmas, decorations, header, John, Katie, Kenzie, Lori, MeCadyLy

Why do a whole blog post about a header? Well, why not! 🙂

I — surprisingly — did not take a ton of pictures this Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. I did get to enjoy time with friends and family, at a more relaxed pace than usual.

From left to right:

Me on Christmas Eve.

My friend John, newly returned on break from a missionary adventure in Minnesota.

Katie and Lori, super kind and incredibly talented friends from high school.

Decorations from Katie’s Holiday Get-Together. (See what I mean about talented?)

Kenzie, my cousin’s daughter, who is about the cutest thing ever.

So, while New Year’s is right around the corner, Christmas season still goes on for a few more days. So snuggle up with your loved ones and enjoy them!

Quick-Takes: Christmas Octave

December 28, 20127 Quick Takes FridayCadyLy

— 1 —

It is still the octave of Christmas! But, I have to admit, I’m having a hard time continuing the celebration. I returned to work right away and haven’t been able to get together with any friends in the evenings, so I’ve fallen into a bad habit of coming home, eating dinner in the living room while watching TV and going to bed. I haven’t even turned the Christmas lights on. So sad. I hope I manage to change this pattern this weekend.

— 2 —

One of the movies I watched this week was Fireproof. I like this movie, even though I am not married. There is one scene where Caleb is complaining about his wife not responding to his demonstrations of love and his father relates this to Caleb’s relationship with God. This made me wonder if the Love Dare process could be used to grow in intimacy with God. Perhaps sometime in the next few weeks, I may acquire a copy of the Love Dare book and work my way through it. Either this or some other retreat-esque program to help me grow deeper in my personal relationship with Jesus.

The people who put out Fireproof even have a page with Catholic resources! Very cool!

— 3 —

Today, we celebrate Childermas. I wasn’t sure what Childermas was, but there it was on my calendar this morning, so I turned to the all-knowing Google to find out more. Turns out Childermas is another name for the feast day of the slaughter of the Holy Innocents, when King Herod decided to kill all male children under the age of 2 years, because of the threat that Christ posed to him. I knew about the Holy Innocents, just not this other name for them. So, maybe there are traditional ways to celebrate this day? I’ll have to look that up, since another thing I’d like to do this year (these are sounding an awful lot like “resolutions” … which I don’t make) is to incorporate more traditions into my day-to-day life. Please help a girl out and let me know of any special ways that you celebrate this day. 🙂

— 4 —

This Christmas Eve, I got a special treat! I was on my way to my family’s Christmas celebration, but decided to stop by a friend’s house, so that I could give Mom and Dad R their Christmas present *on* Christmas. When I arrived, they invited me in, stating that they were just talking about me. (Which makes me wonder what they were saying and how did I become a topic of conversation???) They were in the middle of dinner and invited me to join them. It was lovely. I love spending time with all of them. I ended up missing dinner and the kids opening their Christmas presents at my family’s celebration (I didn’t think that it started until after 7 pm, but that wasn’t right), but maybe this worked in my favor…

— 5 —

… because they seem to really like the gifts I gave them! Normally, my gifts kind of get lost in the hurricane of presents and gift wrap, but this year the kids only had my present to focus on. I bought all of their presents from a friend’s store, Bliss Baby and Kids. Kenzie got a sea creatures puzzle and a canasta. Vanessa got a kit to make bracelets out of small, colored rubber bands, which she started working on right away, stating that she loves making things (score!). And Petros got a Stomp Rocket. Which he immediately set up and started launching rockets from the kitchen into the living room, targeting his aunts and uncles. Kenzie got involved, too. She’s 16 months oldn and had a blast running after the rockets and bringing them back to Petros.

— 6 —

Just in case anyone was wondering what’s going on with my Project 52s… I have to hang my head in shame. I was about to say that I haven’t been able to work on this, but I suppose the more honest answer is that I have chosen to do other things. I think part of the problem is that I don’t have my list of subjects readily available, so I don’t pre-plan what I’d like to shoot for that week, and then the deadline comes and I’m at a loss of what to do. Then, I don’t want to turn in a crappy photo because I haven’t spent enough time thinking about it, so I don’t turn in anything at all. The other problem is that my laptop is currently the only computer that I have at the moment, and it’s a little hard to get to at the moment. So, anytime I think about editing some of my photos, I glance over to where the laptop is and determine that it would be too much effort to clear off the desk so that I can effectively work. I have got to come up with a better plan for next year. Any suggestions would be welcome! 🙂

— 7 —

Yesterday was Cardiac Monitor Liberation Day!!! I was very excited to get that thing off and ship it back! 🙂 Objectively, it wasn’t an incredible burden, but it was a little annoying to have to deal with wires and a cell phone pack all the time. And blisters started to form. I’m lucky that they only just started forming and are therefore very small. So, I just have to deal with them and patches of rashes. Hopefully, I will have new skin soon and the itchy can stop! 🙂

Sorry for the lack of pictures in this post…. I’ll try to do better next week! 🙂 (This statement is still valid from the last Quick Takes….)

God Bless!

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at Conversion Diary!

Happy Cardiac Monitor Liberation Day!

December 27, 2012Health & MedicineCadyLy

Yesterday was the last day that I had to wear my cardiac monitor! And so, it was the perfect day for us to get about 7 inches of snow, which I had to shovel. After all, if all my shoveling is going to give me a heart attack, at least this way LifeWatch will notice and send an ambulance to my house, right? 🙂

My priest always affirms me in these kinds of things by making statements like, “Prudent.” I’m sure he never means that sarcastically. Ever.

And just look at the size of this driveway! It might give *healthy* people heart attacks!

(I also like the snow blowing sideways in the shot.)

It was so worth it!

I only had to dust off the car this morning and getting onto the road was a breeze. Not having to wear a cardiac monitor — also very cool. As monitoring devices go, I suppose it’s better than most. However, as you might remember from when I first got it, I am allergic to both certain adhesives and nickel metal. So, after 21 days, I have blisters on my skin from the electrodes.

Goodbye, then, cardiac monitor. I won’t miss you that much! I’m not certain if the title of this post pertains more to my liberation from the device or its liberation from me, but either way, I think that separation is a good thing for both our sakes. 🙂

Advent Quick-Takes: Preparation Edition

December 14, 20127 Quick Takes FridayCadyLy

— 1 —

This is the week of Preparation in Advent, and I have had much to prepare for! This has also meant that it has been the slowest. week. ever. I’ll be celebrating my birthday this weekend with my friend, Lindsay, at Kalahari, which is a big waterpark in Ohio. I love water and I love warm temperatures, so basically, this weekend is going to ROCK! 🙂 And, most of the rides have warnings on them, saying that cardiac patients should not go on them, so I will also be a big REBEL! And!!! My cardiac monitor is not waterproof, so I will be unplugging for the duration. Bwahahahahaha!

— 2 —

But all of this must be okay, because when I told my priest this after Mass this morning he said, “Excellent!” Which is totally permission, right? 🙂 There are reasons why he and I are friends. 🙂 And he knows about last night…

— 3 —

About last night… I went to the Christmas Party at the rectory last night at St. A’s. I get invited there twice, since I’m a sponsor in RCIA and I’m on Parish Council. However, my evening was cut short when my cardiac monitor kept going off. At one point, I got a voicemail on the device’s cell phone. And the monitoring company only calls you if there is an event that they noticed. After about the 6th event in a very short time span, I was started to not feel well, so I decided to go home. Of course, I was questioning the logic of LEAVING a place with 3 priests in attendance to go to a place where I’d be alone…

On the way, I texted my friend, Fr. John, to let him know what was going on. He prayed for me and I used my redemptive suffering to pray for others, and I woke up in the morning, so I’d have to say it was a successful night! 🙂

— 4 —

Which means… that I was watching Jen‘s “Minor Revisions” WHILE having a string of cardiac issues. That’s gotta mean something, right? 🙂 I mean, I probably should have gone straight to bed, but I stayed up to watch the show and join in the tweeting party. 🙂

— 5 —

I have been involved with two Project 52s this year. And I’ve fallen behind on both of them. At this point, it doesn’t look like I’ll finish. But I will continue to try and make up the missing photos and I intend to be a part of them again for next year. Here’s to picking back up and keep trying! 🙂

— 6 —

Last week’s post #6 was about my cardiac monitor, so I’ll keep up with that tradition. While I was excited to get it last week (mostly because it was mailed to me like a present), I have to admit that I am a little less enthusiastic this week. Even though, objectively, I am still very mobile with it, I have to have the cell phone portion plugged in at least once during the day and overnight, which makes me feel tethered to the wall sometimes. Plus, I can’t sleep on my left side. 🙂 And, I’m starting to develop a rash from those electrode sticker things.

BUT! At least I am not blistering from the electrode stickers. AND! There’s someone monitoring me 24/7, so that if something really bad happens, they will send an ambulance to wherever the GPS tells them that I am. 🙂 So, I don’t have to feel worried about the fact that I live alone. 🙂

— 7 —

My birthday is on Monday!!! And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it falls in the week of Joy. God gives me incredible grace. I can’t thank Him enough. I love my life. I am deeply happy, no matter what happens. Not to say that I don’t have bad times, or that I don’t get sad, but overall, I am full of joy. I hope, in some way, I can share that with others.

Sorry for the lack of pictures in this post…. I’ll try to do better next week! 🙂

God Bless!

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at Conversion Diary!

Sad, But Don’t Know What To Do

December 13, 2012Girl TalkCadyLy

The other day, I was trying to say something nice, but inadvertantly said something that triggered a pet peeve of a friend of mine. I was called out on Facebook for it, which felt like a slap in the face to me — like my feelings are not to be considered and making another person feel bad in public is okay. Why wouldn’t my friend talk to me in private, if I offended her? I certainly didn’t mean any offense.

I don’t understand the reason for her reaction, but I respect her opinion on the matter and apologized and will try to not do the same thing again in the future.

But. It is now days later and it is really upsetting to me still. Why? Why is this bugging me so much?

Well, first, I guess, I really love people. And, especially if I consider you my friend, hurting you hurts me.

Second, I would think that my friends would know me and would assume first that I’m not trying to offend them, instead of assuming the worst.

Third, now I’m actually afraid of saying anything to her again, lest I offend her. Again. Maybe it’s better to not say anything than to risk the friendship.

But then, what kind of friendship would that be if we never spoke?

Does she even want a friendship with me?

I get that most people would just blow the incident off and not think anything of it. And I have tried praying to God and asking him to heal me. Since I realize that the problem is with *my* heart. But, I also don’t believe in sweeping problems under the rug. I don’t think an issue will truly go away if it’s not dealt with.

Sorry for the sad post. I promise I’ll be happy again soon!