My New Name: Zoomie McLawBreaker

Why is this my new name? Because yesterday, I got my very first speeding ticket.
As a co-worker notes, “Aww! And you’ve been practicing for so long! Congratulations!”

I need to go on record first as saying . . . I totally deserve this. Not only was I speeding, really speeding, but I have a habit of speeding, which has been getting worse in the past few months.

Not just in the car, but it’s kind of like a theme in my life: a hundred miles an hour . . . right up until I smash into the brick wall and collapse or something. I’m usually a girl of extremes. I live passionately and fully and with great enthusiasm. I am stubborn and joyful and am a good problem-solver. I struggle with things like patience, although I don’t hold a grudge and tend to be okay with forgiveness. I love to give and I love to love — and these I do as much as I can, usually without thought to what it might cost me. (Which, of course, is not good if you are my accountant, but I really don’t care about having any money in the bank. I just hope to be able to pay my bills. After that, if I have a zero balance, but the people I care about are happy, then I’m all good with that.)

Some of these are good things, some are not. A little more balance in my life would probably, objectively, be a good thing, but I am not good with that.

I am not upset at all about my speeding ticket. I think God allowed me to get that speeding ticket. I think I probably needed to get that ticket. I tend to have little regard for my own well-being. I tend to be careless with myself, or rather, unconcerned. This frequently gets me into trouble.

Over the past month or so, I’ve had problems with chest pain and shortness of breath which have had me in and out of the ER, and even admitted to the hospital. I can’t run anymore and it takes me a lot longer to get anything done.

I think God’s trying to tell me to slow down, in a couple different ways.

St. Jerome on Psalm 41, from the Liturgy of the Hours

So then, you who have followed our lead and robed yourselves in Christ, let the words of God lift you out of this turbulent age as a net lifts the little fishes out of the water. In us the laws of nature are turned upside down – for fish, taken out of the water, die; but the Apostles have fished us out of the sea that is this world not to kill us but to bring us from death to life. As long as we were in the world, our eyes were peering into the depths and we led our lives in the mud. Now we have been torn from the waves, we begin to see the true light. Moved by overwhelming joy, we say to our souls: Put your hope in the Lord, I will praise him still, my saviour and my God.