Who I Am, A-Z….

Meme

The theme for this meme is: using the 26 letters of the alphabet, express who you are, what you do, your interests, what matters to you etc. You have to write it within 26 minutes.  Taken from Kasia:

Am a/an:
A. Avid talker
B. Bouncy
C. Competitive, Candid, Catholic (but not competitive in my Catholicism per se, no Rosary-making prayer-writing competitions in my immediate future; however, I *am* candid about my Catholicism)
D.  Dancer, especially in my pajamas or in the street late at night or, you know, both of those… 🙂
E. Enthusiastic individual
F. Friendly person
G. Giggler
H. Health-challenged
I.  Inquisitive
J. Jenniebean, Jaibee, Jennifurball (but only to John)
K. Kind, on my better days
L. Loyal
M. Mischievous
N. Nut
O. Obsessed with order, so much so, that if I cannot find a place for something to “live,” it ends up in a heap until it can be properly categorized, labeled and arranged — end result being that I look as if I’m a slob; however, you can have lots of fun repeatedly messing up my colored pencils and watching me put them back into proper order according to wavelength
P. Photographer; Present-giver
Q. Quirky
R. Reckless (this is what my confessor told me about me)
S. Starbucks patron; Sassy; Sharer
T. Thrill-seeking
U. Ubiquitous, and stealthy — figure that one out!
V. Voracious reader
W. World Youth Day pilgrim
X.  XO – second in command, my favorite position of power
Y. Yearning — for many things:  a deeper relationship with/understanding of God, children, peace
Z. Zoo patron – formerly

How My Car Teaches Me About God, Parenting and Myself

Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Of Vice and Virtue, Prayer/Prayer Requests

I went to Mass this morning in a pretty good mood, about half-way into my trip, I put on a Podcast talking about what happens during Mass.  I am actually not sick today — feeling pretty good physically; so that helped my happy mood, too.  I was running a little late and walked into church just a few seconds before Mass began.  Literally, I walked in the chapel just ahead of Fr. John and probably caused him to have to wait for me at the baptismal font.

I usually have a very difficult time with distractions during Mass.  Not that I don’t want to be fully engaged, but Fr. JJ thinks that I may have a little bit of ADHD, and I keep having to bring myself back to what is occurring in front of me.  My mind wanders so very easily.  But today, I managed to stay mostly focused (by the grace of God, certainly).  As Mass continued, I became increasingly joyful, almost to the point of grinning.  (I try not to do that, though — wouldn’t want Father to think I was laughing at him or something.)  I became so joyful, that I was worried about after Mass for a moment, because I intended to ask Fr. John about the outcome of the vote in the Michigan senate (?) about partial-birth abortions, and it just wouldn’t do to be smiling when one asks about that sort of thing.

After Mass, I caught him and he asked how I was doing (“Very, very good!  You?”) and then he paused when I asked about the partial-birth abortions and said that he hadn’t heard anything other than they were supposed to vote on Wednesday, but didn’t, then they were supposed to vote yesterday, but didn’t — and to keep praying.  He started inching towards the door (and his car) again, while I remained behind to talk to a friend whose wife is due in just a few weeks with their second child.

As I left and approached my car, I saw something concerning.  I stopped and looked at the passenger side and there was one — no, two — vertical dents in the door.  Obviously, someone had hit my car with their door.  My car is not quite 5 months old, and it’s the first new car I’ve ever had.  I stood there for a second, feeling the dents, waiting to feel anger — for surely that has always been my response to things like this — a visceral, self-righteous hatred of the negligent offender.  To my surprise, that anger…never came.  I was still happy and joyful, and I didn’t understand why.

So, I pondered this.

First, I thought about how even though it was important to me, it was just a thing.  And things will come and go.

Second, I don’t have control over anything other than my own actions.  I can try to protect my car, but there is going to be a time (quite frequently) where I am not around and it is going to be on its own, for better or for worse.  I have to learn to let go and not try to cling or control all situations.  Worry and anger aren’t going to change anything, and they aren’t going to prevent anything — so, why be anxious?

Third, as I looked at my car, I felt sorry, and I think I actually said something to it like, “I’m sorry this happened to you, but I still love you just the same.”  Now, I’m not really in love with my car.  Certainly, I like it and I enjoy it, but I’m not obsessed with it or anything like that.  So I thought about what I said and realized that in a way, this might be how God feels about us.  He may be sorry that bad things happen to us, and sorrowful when we sin, knowing that we are hurting ourselves, but He loves us anyway — despite our dents.  And in the end, when we go home, we may look at one another and see all of the dents that we have and praise God all the more for His mercy and His grace and His aid to help us through all the rough patches during our pilgrimage here.

Fourth, I wondered at the power of the Eucharist, for certainly this grace that was given to me to look beyond myself and my interests had to have come from Him.  It *had* to be due to the presence of God dwelling within me.  What an amazing thing that is!  I hope that I am always open to having Him work through me, and to be able to reflect His love onto others.  To not only work towards, but to desire to conform myself to Christ.

Finally, I prayed for the person who dented my car.  Perhaps they were having a really bad day and they need prayer to help with whatever situation they were/are in.  Perhaps it was an accident and they felt horrible about it, and they need to know that it’s okay, that they can slip up and still be loved by God and by their neighbors.  Perhaps they were just negligent and uncaring, in which case I pray that God will open their hearts to a sense of communion with others and work on their heart to make them desire to fully be a part of the Body of Christ.

Then, I looked at myself, and wondered if maybe this wasn’t just a small beginning into understanding what it means to lead a Christian life, and to want the good for others and to die to self.  For certain, it is only a very, very small step, but just maybe I’ll be able to take something away from this experience and be able to apply it in the future in a positive way.

Have a joyous, blessed day!  🙂

Roasted Shallots

Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Photography, Tales of My Amazing Priests

Roasted Shallots

Originally uploaded by CadyLy
I’ve never made shallots before, and I’m about to use them in 2 recipes for dinner on Saturday. I thought I would try roasting one first, just to see what it tasted like. Mostly, like onions.

This is also going to be my first time having one of my priests over for dinner. We will be a party of five. I hope I learn how to cook between now and then! 🙂

Translation, please!

Humor of the Day, Prayer/Prayer Requests, Question of the Day

Okay, I had to go to the store before going home today.  Since the grocery store which I have been shopping at lately is right by my church, I thought it would be a great idea to stop by the chapel for a little while and “waste some time with the Lord.”

After praying for a bit, I decided to grab a Bible sitting in the pew.  One of the ways He speaks to us is through scripture, right?  So, I pick it up and open it, not knowing really what I expect to read, and then the thought comes into my head, “Hey, why not something from Sirach today?”  I agree with that, and flip to Sirach.  Then, this leaps off the page at me:

Sirach 30:14-17 
[14] Better off is a poor man who is well and strong in constitution
than a rich man who is severely afflicted in body.
[15] Health and soundness are better than all gold,
and a robust body than countless riches.
[16] There is no wealth better than health of body,
and there is no gladness above joy of heart.
[17] Death is better than a miserable life,
and eternal rest than chronic sickness.

Now, just what is He trying to tell me?!?!?!?!

 And that’s not all!  After this, I head for the grocery store, still internally squawking, and start my browsing for dinner-type items.  Then, I notice what’s playing on the radio/grocery sound system….

A song I’ve never heard before, which is mostly repeating the same line over and over….

“Baby, just let yourself go.”

And every once in a while, to mix it up is a, “I’ll be coming for you.”

Perhaps I’m just a little paranoid over my medical tests….  🙂  But seriously, He couldn’t have given me a “Do not be afraid for I am with you” or even “It’s a beautiful day” ??

Mmm… Ice Cream!

Meme

You’re Mint Chocolate Chip.
Mint chocolate chip ice cream wakes up people’s taste buds, and you do the same thing when you walk into a room. The chocolatey bits represent your sweet, flirtatious side, and the minty flavor represents your high energy level. You are smart, witty, and you make a great first impression. Your friends value your advice, because you tend to see things from a fresh new perspective.

Hmm. I don’t personally find mint chocolate chip to be my favorite flavor, but I do like this description of me! 🙂

Humor of the Day

Bible Study, Humor of the Day

1.  In our catechism class last night, we were talking about some of the new teachings of Jesus, compared to the Jewish Law.  Which, of course, prompted thoughts like this to circulate within my head, “If you even look at a Big Mac with lust, you have already added calories to your butt.”  Curse you, large, splashy billboards!

2.  Excerpt from yesterday’s dental appointment:
Hygienist:  “Do you really go to Mass every day?”
Me:  “No.  I just made that up because I thought it would make for a good story.”
“What?!?  Seriously??”
“No.”
*Her eyes get big, stares at me*
I continue, “No.  Really.  I go every day.”
Her:  ” ‘I just made that up because I thought it would make for a good story.’  Whoo!  Personality like yours, you aren’t going to stay single for long!”
“And just today, I got my annulment in the mail….”

3. Christine comes over to ask me for help with the label printer, since I have (basically) a NukeE, EE, and Master Lab Tech qual.  How does she know the printer is working?  Somehow…. there are labels printing out that say “Jenn is Wicked Ninja!  :)”  Don’t know how that happened….  🙂

Schism

Humor of the Day

Yesterday, as I was in my parents’ kitchen talking to them, a little body comes flying in the door and hugs me.

“I didn’t know you were here!” says Vanessa.  Before I could say anything else, she accuses, “And you went to see the Pope!  And you didn’t take ME!”

Here’s the part where I stand here and look a little stupid.  Why?  Because, 1.  I had no idea Nessie would want to go with me and 2.  Vanessa (her mother legally changed her name to Vasaliki a few years back) is Greek Orthodox.

I’m not so sure her mother would want me to take her 9-year-old little girl to see the Bishop of Rome.  But how to explain this to Va?  So, I tell her that our churches are very similar, but there’s a difference in that her church doesn’t see the Bishop of Rome as her head.  (Don’t they look to the Bishop of Constantinople?)  She looks blankly at me, then says, “Oh!  I know the bishops!  We see them all the time!”  Mmmm.  Not quite what I meant.  Let’s try again.

“Do you know about the filioque?”
“The what?”  (Yeah, I predicted that answer….)
“Well, we believe that the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and from the Son; your church believes that it just comes from the Father.”
“Right!  Father, Son and Holy Spirit!”
“No, no.  I mean that the Holy Spirit comes from both, not just the one.”
“Right!  The Holy Spirit comes from the Father and the Son!”  (Oops!  I may have just bridged the schism.)

And, Vanessa’s reflections on Mass, “Sometimes, the priest will talk really fast, and I can’t understand what he’s saying, so I’ll just sit there and think about what I will do for the rest of the day.  I’ll be like, ‘Do I want to ride my bike, or watch TV?’.”

And on speaking Greek:
“Okay, Ness, my priest speaks Greek, teach me something I can say to him.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.  Maybe something you say to your Mom.”
She says a phrase that I repeat.  “Okay, what did I say?”
“I love you.”
“Um, maybe teach me a different phrase?  I’m not sure he’d take that too well.”
She says another phrase, which I repeat.  “And what’s that?”
“Good morning.”
“Well, that’s better.  Hmmm.  I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to know that I can now say ‘Good morning!  I love you!’ in Greek!”

 And then, my Orthodox-corrupting is interrupted when her brother, Petros, comes in to tell her that Grandpa needs her to come home to help clean the fish (calamari).  🙂

Nineveh

Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Prayer/Prayer Requests

John 15:16
“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

This seems like an apt reflection for the day.  For a while now, I have been pondering a situation which I have found myself in.  Let’s start by using a Jonah analogy (because I love Jonah), and go from there.

God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh.  Jonah’s not particularly excited to go to Nineveh.  Jonah decides to go for a boat ride, because boat rides are fun and then he doesn’t have to think about Nineveh.  He falls asleep, and wakes up with the boat on shore.  God tells him, “You’re in Nineveh.”  Jonah pouts, “What?!?  Are you serious?  I didn’t want to go to Nineveh.”  God says, “Tough.  Here you are.”

 As you may have guessed, I’m Jonah in this story.  As necessary background, I suppose I should say that I have odd views on family, and I tend to “adopt” people into my “family.”  My “chosen family,” as I call them.  And I love them as I love the members of my family:  completely, unconditionally, permanently.  I also have other categories:  such as my close friends, my long-term friends, and friends whom I consider to have been given to me by God.  I tend to feel, for the most part, that I have some active choice in who I designate as my “family.”

Except for this one case.

[Ignore the wrong pronouns, I’m trying to be non-gender-specific….  🙂 ]  I met this person a while ago, and I thought they were fine, pleasant, interesting, intelligent — any manner of things.  But also a little scary, in the way that they seemed to “get me” so quickly and accurately.  There were other factors that went into it, but suffice it to say that I decided that I would keep this person at arms length from me.  Oh, I would definitely interact with them, but I wasn’t about to make it personal.

Critical Steinbeck Error — you know, “best laid plans of mice and men….” ?  Or that other quote, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.”

So, this arms length thing being my decision, God says, “Oh, really?  Nope.  Actually, I’m going to make you care for this person.”  [Okay, God didn’t really speak to me in words as such, so this is my translation of what I got.  I’m sure God can speak much more eloquently than this, but He’s speaking to my level here….]

“What?  No, no, no.  I want an impersonal, working relationship.  Nothing complicated or messy or, well, involved.”  So, I go about trying to minimize contact with this person, to create a bubble between me and them.  My little ostrich head was firmly planted in the sand, and my fingers were in my ears, “La la la, I can’t hear you!”

A little while later, Gods tell me, “You know what?  Not only are you going to care for them, but you are going to love them.  They will be your family.”

“But I don’t want that!!!”  I didn’t actually go so far as to tell God “No,” but I made my preference clear.  “I don’t want to love this person!”

Then, God laughs.  “Tough.  Look in your heart.  You already do.”

Oh no.  I did.

After that, it’s like a phrase that a friend of mine likes to say:  “You will do it.  You will like it.  And you will like liking it.”  But first, being me, I had to spend at least a little time grumbling about the fact that I didn’t particularly choose to make this person part of my family.  But, what do you do?  When you love, you love.  And God didn’t give me one of these fleeting affections.  It’s like all of me is deeply involved in the well-being of this Other.  And of course, being me, I was concerned about this.  What if it wasn’t something of God, and was instead some personal psychiatric disorder?  What if for some reason, I had developed some unnatural fixation or obsession with this person, and was trying to justify it to myself?  Maybe I just wanted love or approval in return and thought that this person would reciprocate?  Any sort of questioning you can think of — I put myself through it.  Basically, I didn’t trust myself not to be messed up in some way.  I’m not the best at relationships.  Haha, or trusting!

 So, now I have this person.  And they are my family.  And I pray for them every day.  And I worry over them.  I’m okay if they are okay.  I don’t have to be a major player in this person’s life, even though they are a major player in mine.  It’s not necessary or even expected that they would care for me.  And I’m okay with that too.

Sometimes, I wondered about all this, but mostly I just accepted it and went about my business praying for and worrying about and rejoicing in the fact that God made this unique individual, and that He wrote this person onto my heart.

Recently, however, I came across this Vatican document or other.  And it was kind of talking about this:  that sometimes God may give a person to another person, for them to carry spiritually.  To love and nurture and pray for and suffer for.  Sometimes, a person is given an Other to carry, and s/he may have never met the person before.  Or may not ever meet them (until heaven).

Maybe this is what has been going on with me and my person.

Which brings me back to John 15:16, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”

I didn’t choose God.  God choose me.  I have no idea why, but God called me from my secular, atheist life and gave me a new heart and faith and a deep hunger to know Him.  And now He’s given me this Other.  So, now I have to go bear fruit.  I had not ever consciously decided to pray for this person every day.  It just happened on its own.  I wanted to.  It is a joy.  And maybe that is a purpose for me.  A task.  A calling.  A something.

And so while I didn’t want to go to Nineveh, I ended up in Nineveh anyway.  And you know what?  Nineveh’s a pretty awesome place.  And I will continue to muddle my way along, trying to discern God’s will.

Thanking Him for this gift.

Teaser Photo

Easter, Of Trials Opportunities and Gifts, Photography, Sacraments

Here’s just one of the many, many pictures that I took over the weekend.  I do not have a great zoom, and was sitting quite high in the stands, so the picture is a little fuzzy (digital zoom will do that).

It was amazing!  It was great!  I need a thesaurus for my superlative adjectives!

One day, when I am no longer tired, I may write more on this.  For now, I have a mountain of things to get done in the office!
Pope Benedict XVI