Lent: Day 2

Critical Mass, Lent

Plan of the Day

It’s already after 5 pm, and I still don’t have a coherent plan for the day. Since we don’t have Bible Study tonight, I think I’ll spend some time in Adoration after work.

Song of the Day

In the middle of the afternoon yesterday, one of the songs that was played at a recent Mass ran through my head, so I attached it to my blog post. Now, I’m thinking that maybe I’ll listen to *at least* one Christian song per day. Not giving up secular music (although I’ve done that before), but adding something that will help me stay focused.
One Way, Jesus by Hillsong is a song that I heard first at a Catechism session at World Youth Day in Sydney in 2008.  I’m not actually well-versed in a lot of Christian music, so if you have some favorites, please send them my way!

Chastity

In the interest of chastity… I recently helped teach at a Confirmation retreat for 5th graders. I taught on the fruits of the Holy Spirit, of which one of them is Chastity. We usually think of chastity as being chaste with our bodies, meaning that we act appropriate to our state, whether married, religious or single. But chastity also includes being pure in what we do in other ways. I got to exercise that just a minute ago. I have all of the blogs that I follow on a reader, and after reading a friend’s latest post, there’s a link up at the top that I can click on to read the Next Blog. I assumed this meant that I would read the next blog on my list. However, it opened up a post of someone I’ve never read before. That post was really interesting, so I followed it. Feeling good about that little link, I clicked it again. And found myself staring at a nearly naked woman. Aaah! Not what I want to have displayed on my screen at work! Certainly, not anything that I care to look at, either. I quickly clicked off and now resolve to not leave my browsing to random chance. I want to be careful what I take in. Images, words and music which are immoral or amoral can have a real, negative effect on me, and I want to give myself the best possible chance for holiness.

Saints in the Making University

They suggest that we recognize the fact that each one of us has a unique guardian angel assigned to watch over us, and recommends praying to our guardian angel:

Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
To whom God’s love
commits me here,
Ever this day,
be at my side,
To light and guard,
Rule and guide.
Amen.

They have a bunch of other suggestions, including spending at least 10 minutes today in prayer (which I’m already doing, according to Meg‘s Lenten Boot Camp), so check them out, if you haven’t already.

My Day So Far

I prayed the Office of Readings this morning (but not Morning Prayer, because that podcast was broken for some reason).  I managed to call only *one* person a “jerk” on the way to work.  And, to be honest, they didn’t do anything wrong.  But how dare they slow me down while making a right, when I want to get. to. the. intersection??  That was probably a failure in charity, patience AND humility.  Good thing going to Confession is on my list of things to do.  Speaking of things to do…  Getting caught up on my Google Tasks is one of my penances during Lent.  And it’s LONG overdue.  I’m working on finishing up a reading assignment that I put on my To-Do list in 2011.  It’s a commentary on Philippians, in case you were interested.  I brought the book with me to work and have only read about 2-3 pages of it so far.  I have 26 pages to go.  But I keep distracting myself.  I am my own worst enemy.

My Plans for the Rest of the Evening

I will go for Adoration after work; read Joel 2:12-17, Psalms 5-8, and Genesis 3; pray a decade of the Rosary; observe 10 minutes of silence; go home; clean out the linen closet (I’ve NEVER done this, so I’m choosing it as my penance-of-the-day); do a load of laundry and put it away; and finish up a blog post for tomorrow.

Test Post

Blogging and Blog Friends

Ok, so I’m going to be trying out this “linking up” thing. This blog platform doesn’t give me a ton of flexibility — I can only pick from 9 themes and can’t do any javascript stuff and I can’t imbed videos… So, I’m testing out this version of a Mr. Linky.

If you have a blog, please hop over for a second and test it out for me. Please and thank you! 🙂

“Auto” version does not work. The one above appears to work, although if you want to see the links and connect to those blogs, you have to click the icon to go to the page that lists them. 🙂

We’ll call this endeavor a success. 🙂

Ash Wednesday 2014

Lent

For as much as I blog, I have always been really bad about keeping a prayer (or otherwise) journal. I’ve been encouraged by my priest, my spiritual director and others to do this, but it’s always been a weak area for me. Perhaps in chronicling these days of Lent here, I will learn to make a daily examen and be more committed to journaling my experiences. I think if I can have an honest look at myself and where I fail and where I am strong as regards my relationship with Christ, I will be better able to see where I need to make changes.

One of my biggest downfalls so far? I don’t have a plan (not for Lent, but in general). I kind of do things ad hoc and by whim and there’s no consistency. I will start with these daily entries. Perhaps I won’t be able to pray at a consistent time… YET … but I have hope that I can grow. Baby steps, right?

I started the morning praying the Office of Readings and Morning Prayer as I was driving to church. There was a lot of traffic. It frustrated me. So I was continually periodically thinking uncharitable thoughts about the other drivers around me and about the situation in general. And immediately, I’d recognize my lack of charity and apologize to God. Rinse. Repeat. Not a very glamorous start to Lent, but an honest one. I arrived at church a little late — just as the homily was beginning. The church was packed. They had bused the kids over for an All School Mass. The children’s choir sung and it was lovely.

All School Mass, 9am, OLGC

I received my ashes, but not from Fr. Anonymous (because I was late, I was in a back corner by the cry room), which is probably a good thing. 🙂 We have a joke about ashes, that he would put a big L on my forehead instead of a cross, and I’d hear “You’re a loser and you won’t amount to anything,” in the place of “Repent and believe the Gospel”. (For anyone who may be concerned, (a) we’re friends and (b) I don’t think he’d actually do it.) On the other hand, it doesn’t look like I’ve received a cross, either. It more looks like a Rorschach inkblot. Here. What do you think it is?

Ashed!

When I got to work, I received my first ever, “Hey, you have something on your forehead!” comment. 🙂 I’m a little surprised that I haven’t received one before.

I had signed up for several different text/e-mail bots that would send me suggestions for things to do/give up/take on for Lent each day. One of them, 40 Acts, suggested that I start a journal. Ahead of the game! 🙂 They also suggested that I take a picture of said journal and post it on Instagram, etc. Done!

Today's first task is to make a journal for Lent. #40acts

Saints in the Making University also has a Lenten program. They note that if we are sincerely making an effort to become holier this Lent, we should expect some opposition from the Evil One. Therefore, we should keep the prayer to St. Michael on our lips:

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

SIMU also suggests that we read 1 Cor 13:4-8, replacing “Love” with our own name. E.g. Jenn is patient; Jenn is kind… How does saying that passage with you as the subject make you feel? Are you living up to that?

They also have a great suggestion to help us stay on track this Lent:

Say this simple prayer: “Lord, I offer up the sacrifices and sufferings of this day for……” Pick any soul…lost sheep, family, friends, enemies, strangers, souls in purgatory…anybody. When you get busy and distracted just remember, other souls are counting on you. You have the power to help get souls to heaven….don’t waste it. You may offer up your days for whomever you please, however, I strongly encourage you to offer up each day of this challenge for “disengaged Catholics” or “lost sheep”. Let’s bring them home.

I typically request Fr. Anonymous to give me the names of some people to pray for during Lent (this year, just one person). I offer up my Lent for them, and knowing that what I am doing is helping someone else has been a great motivator.

Perhaps I’m just hungry, but as I’m praying my Psalms for the day, this one stood out for me: Psalm 4:8

But you have given my heart more joy than they have when grain and wine abound.

God is everything. Through good times and bad; plentiful and lean. He loves us, He has firm hold of us, and He isn’t letting go.

I’d like to say I ended Ash Wednesday by doing the Liturgy of the Hours or something like that, but what really happened is that I had dinner and went right to bed. I did try to pray, but praying in bed mostly looks like falling asleep.

I’ll leave you with the song that was in my mind today:
Mighty to Save

New Look

Blogging and Blog Friends

After I don’t even know how many years, Critical Mass has a new look.  It wasn’t really my intention to change things, but something funky was going on in my old theme where the font appeared bolded all the time, and that was driving me nuts more than changing the theme… So there you have it!

Lent is a time of change, and all the spiritual greats tell us not to be too attached to things of this world, so this is as appropriate a time as any.  I hope you enjoy the new look.  Please pardon the dust as I settle in.  I’m sure I still have some unpacked boxes lying around from the last move.  🙂

Mardi Gras!

Holidays

Mardi Gras is one of my favorite celebrations in the year.  I think I have to like it because I’m both French and Native American.  Doesn’t that make me Cajun or Creole in some fashion?

While many times it is celebrated as honoring all thing immoral (or at least indulging in immorality one last time before the penitential season of Lent), I think of it more in terms of an anticipation of the joy we are going to find during our Lenten journey.  We recognize the good things of this world, but look forward to the greater goods that we will receive from a life lived in Christ.

Without further ado, I present to you…  Mardi Gras 2014!

First, there’s no party without a party outfit.
20140304_075511

I put on a brightly colored shirt, authentic Mardi Gras beads (Thanks, Shane, for getting them for me from New Orleans during college!), pigtails, eye makeup and sparkly lip gloss.

Properly attired, I got things ready for the evening. After work, I went over my parents’ house and had jambalaya. I like traditions and the idea of making ethnic or special food to mark notable days. Since I’m “Creole”, I like to honor the day with Cajun-style foods. In a perfect world, I’d have more items on the menu, but being a working girl with a limited grocery budget…we just got jambalaya. But it was good!

Jambalaya

I did forget to add the shrimp, but it was good with just the chicken and andouille sausage.

Mom added a tomato-avocado salad to the party, and Dad had purchased paczki, which were our dessert. I snagged a blueberry one. Granted, paczki aren’t Cajan, but there’s a strong Polish demographic here in Michigan and that’s how people roll here. A big fat jelly-filled donut for Fat Tuesday. I’m okay with that. 🙂

All too soon, my paczek was eaten and Fat Tuesday was nearly over. Plans have been laid for Lent and I look forward to the journey at hand!

What did you do for Mardi Gras?

Self-Pruning

Blogging and Blog Friends, Lent
bonsai

Lent is coming up quickly! Today, Mardi Gras (one of my favorite celebration days), and BAM! Ash Wednesday!

This morning, I was browsing through the interwebs as I normally do: e-mail, Facebook, etc., and came across a new blog post by one of my friends, Shauna, where she talks about her plan for personal growth during Lent. She talks about how many people desire external things to change, but rarely seek to facilitate the change they want internally.

Another friend of mine, Ryan, likes to grow bonsai. It made me think of the care, persistence, vision and continual revision that is necessary for a good result. You first need to evaluate the plant as it is to see what you have to work with. Then, you need a vision of what you would like the plant to look like, both in the long-term, as well as changes that can be made in a short amount of time. Then is the work of daily diligence, where you apply tools and helps to encourage the plant to grow according to your vision. And there must always be times for evaluation — to see how well your plans are going and to change the course if necessary.

We are much the same way. We all want to be great, to do great things and to be good people. But — honestly — how many of us put in that due diligence to make it happen?

The goal of Lent is to come out of it looking more like Christ than when we started. So we have a vision, of sorts. We need to personalize it so that it reflects how *I* and how *you* will look more like Christ at the end. Then, we need a plan. Hopefully, you’ve been praying about what you might want to prune away from yourself during these grace-filled days. If not, there’s no better time than now to start!

As we go through Lent, carve away some time during your day or week where you can do something of an Examen — an evaluation of how you are doing regarding your plans and your vision for yourself and make adjustments as needed.

For me, one of the things I will be doing is joining Shauna in her 40 Days of Change. I will attempt to do one thing each day that I rarely/never do which will help me in growing closer in conformity to Christ. And I will (try to!) blog about this each day. 🙂 With God’s grace, I will be successful in pruning undesirable aspects of myself and promoting the growth of that which is good and beautiful.

Please walk with me during this process. Encouragement is always needed and so much appreciated!

God Bless!

Can Someone Tell Me…?

Neat Things I Didn't Author, Question of the Day, Theology of the Body

I’m currently reading William May’s, “Marriage: The Rock on Which the Family is Built,” and I must note that I’m pretty stupid as regards the Theology of the Body, although I read a bunch of it and continually struggle to understand ever more.

Today’s challenge is in a couple of phrases that May seems to like to repeat a lot:

Men give in a receiving sort of way.
Women receive in a giving sort of way.

Can anyone explain these to me? Thanks!

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Theology of the Body, Things to Ponder
DSCN3464

As Catholics, we are taught that the human person is a body-soul mix. It’s always both, or it’s not a person. It’s not a soul living in a body, but the two are thoroughly enmeshed.

For this reason, what we do with our bodies matters. And so the things that we do with our bodies have spiritual implications. This is why sexual sins are always grave matter. This is also why we do things like genuflecting, kneeling, sitting, and standing at Mass. Posture has significance. Your body has meaning.

A book I read on prayer recently suggested that if you have a hard time praying, make yourself sit in front of a tabernacle or the exposed Eucharist for periods of time. Prayer will follow. If you have a hard time submitting yourself to the Lord, try putting yourself into a submissive position, like kneeling or laying prostrate. Your bodily position will have an affect on your emotional and spiritual state.

Which brings me to my Pondering of the Day…

If we intentionally smile when we are mad, sad, or feeling bad… Can we make ourselves feel better?

Worth trying, I think. 🙂

Why Does This Always Upset Me?

Controversy, Jennspeak

Baby

Okay. If you want to know how to upset me, here’s how:

Post somewhere visible that people who don’t have children are not allowed to comment about children or have any opinion regarding any topic surrounding parenting, etc. Say something like, “People without kids shouldn’t say anything.”

Recently, a friend made a comment like this and it really upset me. Again. So, I started thinking about WHY it is so irritating.

On one hand, I understand what I think they are saying. What I think they are trying to convey is that parenting is something that has to be experienced in order for one to fully “get it”. And perhaps their intention at making such statements is to express their irritation at people making stupid remarks regarding parenting, something that someone who has been through what they’ve been through would never say, or at least would say with caveats and allow for exceptions.

But what is upsetting is the way statements like these categorically say that any opinion/idea/comment that a non-parent has is frivolous. Futile. We (the childless) have NOTHING to contribute to the conversation. We are UNQUALIFIED. Our knowledge and experience is far inferior.

Wait a minute.

So, you are saying that even if I raised a kid since I was a child, but do not have a *biological* child and do not have one *right now*, that I don’t have any experience with parenting? What about an elder child with a lot of siblings? Foster parents? Pediatricians? Pediatric counselors?

Surely some of these people might have something valuable to say on the topic of children.

I think what is meant is that people who are *ignorant* of children and parenting ought not to state their opinions. In the same way that people probably shouldn’t make unsubstantiated statements about other things of which they are unfamiliar. For example, I shouldn’t go out there and say on every physicist’s Facebook page and blog that String Theory is complete bunk and everyone who believes in it is stupid. I don’t know the first thing about String Theory. My ignorance will either be laughable or irritating, but not particularly welcome. And this is a topic which isn’t as personal as parenting, where people tend to get defensive and think that people are judging them. I don’t judge, but I understand that a lot of others do. That’s sad. And, unless someone’s really endangering their kid, most likely unwarranted.

This situation seems similar to when people say that priests shouldn’t say anything about married life or marriage, not being married themselves. My priests note that although they do not have a wife, they have probably more experience with the trials of married life than any particular married couple, as the couple only knows *their* experience, while the priests have heard hundreds of spouses’ experiences, both in counseling and in the confessional.

The other problem that I see with this type of statement, is that it unnecessarily divides people. It is Us (parents) vs. Them (the childless). And I haven’t noticed that situations where people are pigeon-holed into rigid categories work so very well to foster dialogue, compassion and understanding between the two groups. More often than not in this world, things are not black and white. Just because you are a parent, this doesn’t mean that you know everything about parenting, even if you have several kids. And just because you are not a parent, doesn’t mean that you are completely ignorant. There’s room for a whole spectrum of knowledge and experience.

So, instead of hurting each other with all the judging and labeling, why don’t we just try to be understanding to each person’s unique situation (there are no two lives that are the same; everyone has their own experience of the world, even if they live together), and love each other more?

Devaluing all of my thoughts on a broad topic is so close to devaluing me as a person. I’m worth something, even if I don’t have all of your experiences. You’re worth something, even if you don’t have all of *my* experiences.

I am terminally ill. Most of the people who might read this are not. Should I say that none of them have any right to say anything to me because they aren’t in my shoes? Of course not. You may not be dying, but you are probably familiar with being sick or injured or frustrated.

Anyways. I’ve vented my frustration and, hopefully, said something that might make sense.