Tag Archives: Confession

They Always Make Me Cry

I love going to Confession at St. Bonaventure Monastery in Detroit. But, they always make me cry. I guess I tend to feel God’s love and mercy a little more when I am there, for some odd reason. I don’t go there very often, but save it, so that when I do go, it feels “special”.

That and I usually buy something from their gift shop. LOL! 🙂

Today, they had something new in the gift shop, a candle that burns in a spiral, filling the bottom portion with wax as it burns. Once the spiral burns out, the “new” candle burns for hours. 🙂 Here’s a little video showing it:

I also picked up some honey that they make, to make my honey dijon chicken for dinner, and a couple other small things.

It was bright and sunny as I exited, and I feel truly blessed. 🙂

A Fantastic Evening

SHMS Jesus

Have I mentioned lately that I love God? Because I love God! He blesses me so often, and so much! (I know that is not a *reason* to love God, but others showing you affection is always a happy thing).

Tonight, I had a *fantastic* evening! Oh, let me count the ways!
1. I wasn’t as sick as I have been lately.
2. After work, I dragged my friend with me to Reconciliation. She hadn’t been to Confession since Easter, and was glad that she had gone.
3. Next, I took her to Fiamma Grille in Plymouth, where we had yummy appetizers! Another friend had mentioned that we might be going out for dinner later, so I didn’t eat a meal.
4. After dropping my friend off at home, I went to the Seminary’s Christmas Choir Concert.
5. I listened to some great music!
6. I met up with several friends and got to spend some time with them. I love these people and I’m so happy that I was able to be around them, even if for a short time!
7. Through everything, God was very present to me. Earlier in the day, a dear friend had asked me to pray for him for something specific. Before the evening’s activities, I found out that God had granted my prayer request for my friend! After Reconciliation, I felt the Lord’s presence in everything and everywhere I went.

God + food + music + friends has got to = some small preview of Heaven! Can I go there now? 🙂 Because I loved tonight, and if Heaven is anything like tonight (and I have reason to hope that it is better), I want to go there NOW! 🙂

Snails

This morning I went with Lindsay to St. A’s for the rosary and 9:30 am Mass, which was to be a healing Mass. I was looking forward to getting anointed, since I have had all these medical things going on and figured that God can heal me better than the doctors, who have yet to figure out what’s going on. 🙂

Since it’s Friday, we prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries. These are my favorite mysteries, I think because they are the only ones I have memorized. 🙂 I offered my rosary for the intention of a few people, one in particular, and as I was praying it, I pictured them in Jesus’ place: in the garden, being scourged, being crowned with thorns, carrying the cross, being crucified. I saw myself kind of in the picture too. My heart was breaking, going out to them. It made me sad to see them suffer like that, so I was trying to take the burden from them, although I knew that it was something that they had to do and didn’t want to interfere with God’s plan. I know, kind of a weird thing to be thinking of during a rosary, right?

After the rosary, I wanted to sit next to Lynn for Mass, so we moved. As we were waiting for Mass to start, Lynn shared with me the hymn from today’s Magnificat morning prayer:

O Love of God incarnate,
our flesh, our blood, our bone,
where sin has torn and marred us,
You make our wounds your own.
You take our guilt upon you,
our burdened spirits bear;
in death you go before us,
and you await us there.
You rise, our wounds upon You,
the nail prints clearly seen,
Your ravaged side still open –
but love has washed them clean.
the pow’r that conquers evil
in You now stands revealed.
We touch You, unbelieving,
and find that we are healed.

For some reason, this really disturbed me. I didn’t want to hurt Him any more. I didn’t want Him to have to suffer for my wounds. I was horrified. I wanted to protect Him. I handed the Magnificat back to Lynn. She asked what I thought. I said something like it was scary, because I couldn’t quite articulate what I thought about it.

I sat there praying, my heart saddened at the thought of causing the Lord more pain. Mass began. It wasn’t that long into Mass that a thought or image or something popped into my head, and but the whole thing into perspective for me. Then, I was so full of joy that I was actually giggling. In the middle of Mass. It was great. I mean, I don’t want to be disruptive and stuff to people around me, but I love when God interacts with me like that. See, because it wasn’t just a random thought popping into my head, it was Him trying to teach me something. Here, I’ll share it with you:

The image which came to mind was me, as a tiny snail. I was suffering because I had a toothpick stuck in me and had this marble squishing down on me. Jesus came over to me, and asked me if I would give him my toothpick and marble. He was the size of a normal-big human person, and I was this little 1 cm or so snail. My little snail-self took a big sigh and said, no, that I didn’t want Him to hurt and that I would keep my toothpick and marble. He laughed, lovingly, at me and made a beckoning motion with his right hand, saying, “Come now, give Me them. I can take it. I am strong. They are not going to hurt Me.”

I thought of my dad, and how he would want us to work through our own issues, and would be disappointed in us if we had to come to him for help. My snail-self wavered.

I saw things from Jesus’ perspective. Here was this tiny, little snail, with a little toothpick and a little marble. Insignificant little things, really, but they were hurting the little snail. He was looking on with love, and wanted to take them away from the little snail, but he wasn’t going to take them — he wanted the snail to ask for them to be taken away. He said again, “They are not going to hurt Me. I am God. Don’t you think that I can take it? That is not what hurts me, these things. What hurts is when people turn away from Me. Please give them to Me.”

Then, I understood.

Then, my little snail-self was joyful and saying, “TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” and offering to him gleefully my toothpick and marble. And I was washed in joy and His love. I wasn’t hurting Him, I was letting Him in — and that’s what He wants.

As an aside, at the end of Mass, Fr. Mark said that they weren’t going to be doing the Anointing at that Mass, but next Friday — which I wouldn’t be able to attend. I was disappointed, since I hadn’t been anointed for these medical things and really wanted to be. Lynn suggested that I ask him after Mass if he would anoint me, but I was hesitant — I don’t like to infringe on people’s time like that, asking for favors. Then, Lindsay said that she was going to ask him if he would hear her confession. So, she actually asked for me, by asking him if he had time to do 2 more sacraments. And so, the little snail got to give away her toothpick and her marble. 🙂 Thanks be to God for Lynn and Lindsay. And praise God for the unimaginable love that He gives to us all, for no reason whatsoever.

Prayer of the Day

I’m probably going to end up repeating myself a lot on this blog, but praying the Liturgy of the Hours/Christian Prayer really gets me sometimes — and I just have to share! 🙂

To you, Lord, we lift up our souls; rescue us, do not let us be put to shame for calling out to you. Do not remember the sins of our youth and stupidity, but remember us with your love.

This one seems particularly fitting for Reconciliation.

Renovations

I had been intending to turn my third bedroom — the baby’s room — into a prayer room for quite a while now. However, it had accumulated so much junk that it was a daunting thought to clear it out and make something out of it. I had managed to put a chair in there, and clear a little path so I could exercise on the elliptical trainer, but that was about it. This is what the room looked like:
The Would-Be Prayer/Exercise Room -- DSCN5602
I left it like this for a long, long time.

I won’t get into my Confession, but yesterday, Father gave as my penance that I would ask Mary to be my designer, and in particular that she would help me to do something with my house. I went to Michael’s and Office Max after Confession and randomly walked up and down the aisles, picking up things. I had some candles from some recent PartyLite gatherings recently.

This is what I came up with after some hard work yesterday evening:
DSCN6620
My little desk:
DSCN6621
My candles:
DSCN6623
And the other side of the room with my comfy chair and white board:
DSCN6629
Now, it will be much more functional as a prayer room! I just need to find a way to hang my picture….